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You cost too much, Meemaw!


There's this one "Calvin and Hobbes" Sunday strip with realistic drawings of several disasters all converging on one spot, the home of Farmer Brown, who "is unaware of a gas leak as he attempts to light his stove." The last panel shows Calvin holding a toy jet and a toy locomotive about to smash into a toy house, and Hobbes says, "Can't we play something else?"

Guess what's happening in the federal government? We've got the current short-term spending bill expiring a week from today, and no deal on fixing DACA, so we could be looking at a government shutdown. Yesterday, the Congressional Budget Office issued a little ol' warning that, thanks to the GOP's Great Big Tax Cuts for Rich Fuckwads, the federal government needs to raise the debt ceiling -- the statutory limit on how much debt we can incur for existing budget commitments -- lest the whole government run out of money by the middle of March. Fun!

Now, Congress already voted to suspend the debt ceiling back in September; that suspension ended on December 12, 2017. When that suspension expired, the CBO explains,

the Secretary of the Treasury announced a “debt issuance suspension period” during which existing statutes allow the Treasury to take “extraordinary measures” to borrow additional funds without breaching the debt ceiling.

Unfortunately, those "extraordinary measures" will only go so far, and once they're exhausted,

the government would be unable to pay its obligations fully, and it would delay making payments for its activities, default on its debt obligations, or both.

Back in December, when the "extraordinary measures" kicked in, the CBO expected they'd keep the government afloat until at least late March or early April. Oh, but then there's those GOP tax cuts, which on paper went into effect immediately, but in reality won't show up in paychecks until the IRS prepares new tax tables. Those are supposed to start being used by the middle of February, which means less tax withheld by employers, which means an immediate loss of $10 billion to $15 billion per month. (The CBO doesn't account for any possible screwups by the IRS in rushing out the new tax withholding schemes, so the shortfall is based on the assumption everything transitions smoothly.) Oh, hey, that's all on top of a government deficit of $23 billion for December, where in normal budget years, deficits don't typically kick in until the second quarter of the fiscal year.

So now, all Congress has to do is take care of raising the debt limit, passing a short-or-long-term budget that reconciles Republicans' demands for huge new military spending with Democrats' insistence that domestic spending increase at the same level, and also fix DACA while Donald Trump insists that legal immigration be slashed. All while the administration is also trying to rip the guts out of the FBI and Department of Justice so they can fire or neuter Robert Mueller (possibly not metaphorically). Add in whatever fallout comes from the release of Devin Nunes's intelligence-nuking memo, and there are a just a few tiny things -- nothing to speak of, really! --

Congress needs to get taken care of by next Tuesday to avoid a second government shutdown while Republicans control both houses of Congress and the White House.

Oh, yes, and what time of year is it, Washington Post?

Complicating factors for the U.S. government, the Treasury Department typically issues a large number of tax refunds in February and March, which could lead to a steeper than expected fall in cash reserves. CBO said last year Treasury paid $211 billion in tax refunds in February and March of last year.

Hmm. And then you need to remember that Republicans HATE raising the debt ceiling, and always demand big spending cuts in exchange, even though that doesn't actually affect the debt ceiling, which applies to spending Congress has already voted for. But that doesn't mean Rs won't use the "budget crisis" as an excuse to slash social services, because JUST LOOK AT ALL THAT DEBT.

Yep, lots of stuff on the ol' national plate. Remember how the Republicans said the tax cuts would pay for themselves? Good times, man.

We live in interesting times, Crom help us. Maybe Trump will tweet something really weird.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us a few dollars, once you come out from under your desk.

[Congressional Budget Office / WaPo Image from the Calvin and Hobbes Wiki scan of Homicidal Jungle Cat]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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