Greg Abbott Is In Texas's School Libraries, Stealing All The Porns

You betcha.

If you're the governor of Texas, you have a lot on your plate right now, between bragging to undercover reporters that you banned abortion and getting all the porn off the bookshelves in Texas schools. Wait what? Yes, it's true, Greg Abbott is personally removing all the porn from Texas classrooms, because that's where the porn is, he's pretty sure.

Abbott sent a letter yesterday to the Texas Association of School Boards asking them to please check all the school libraries for porn-boner books and please remove all such books they find. Because they're just full of 'em, obviously.

"A growing number of parents of Texas students are becoming increasingly alarmed about some of the books and other content found in public school libraries that are extremely inappropriate in the public education system," wrote Abbott. "The most flagrant examples include clearly pornographic images and substance that have no place in the Texas public education system."

So if there are suddenly stampedes of teenagers to school libraries all over Texas today, it's likely because the weirdo governor just said there's a bunch of porn in there.

Of course, as the   Texas Tribune   notes, Abbott gave no examples of specific porns he believes are residing in Texas school libraries. Maybe it's just common knowledge that all Texas high schools customarily subscribe to Everything's Bigger In Texas: Peens 'n' Boobies Edition magazine, and Greg Abbott is going to put a stop to that once and for all. Meanwhile, the association of school boards has no clue why dipshit sent them this letter, since they don't do anything with library books anyway.

Our guess is that it's related to that one wingnut Texas state rep's investigation Wonkette told you about the other day. If you'll remember, GOP state Rep. Matt Krause has taken it upon himself to investigate whether Texas school libraries have any books on this list of 850 page-turners that upset white supremacist snowflake Christian conservative parents. It's populated by titles that handle subjects like race and sexuality and LGBTQ issues and abortion, among other things.

Maybe in Greg Abbott's galaxy brain, that got interpreted as "porn," so there he went, firing off a letter demanding a body with no authority over school libraries please de-porn the library book shelves.

Or maybe it has to do with the controversy over this book, which was removed from a single library in the Keller Independent School District after a busybody wingnut mommy lost her shit and started tagging Tucker Carlson as she tweeted images from the book.

The book, as the Fort Worth Star-Telegram explains, is a "graphic novel-style memoir" called Gender Queer , written by Maia Kobabe, and it indeed has some illustrations that might give some parents some pause. At the same time, the author of the book makes a compelling case in the Washington Post for why "queer kids need queer stories," and really quite frankly any parent of a high schooler who thinks their kids are sheltered from seeing far more graphic things than the illustrations Texas Wingnut Mommy tweeted out is a damn fool, at best.

But isn't this how it always goes? One idiot parent in one town in Texas has a conniption about one book, and then the bullshit just snowballs. By next month, Ted Cruz will be screaming at random people testifying in the Senate and demanding they remove all the anal sex instruction manuals from school library bookshelves.

Stupid ass country we live in.

[ Texas Tribune ]

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