Gross Texas A.G. Ken Paxton Sure Hopes He Gets To Screw Some Ladies On Way To Prison

Professional cum-sock.

Let's see what our favorite indicted,maybe criminal Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is up to today, is he being a total dick just for the sake of being a dick? Yep, looks like it:

Female employees of religious nonprofits should not be given insurance coverage for birth control if their employers object to certain contraceptives on religious grounds, according to a brief filed at the U.S. Supreme Court by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton.

Paxton’s “friend of the court” brief was filed Monday in support of a lawsuit brought by East Texas Baptist University and Houston Baptist University against the federal government over a provision of the Affordable Care Act requiring some employers to offer health plans that include contraceptive coverage.

Oh good, he has a plan to fuck up some women, just in case he ends up in prison for the rest of his life, for being a criminal who wasn't even smart enough to get away with it.

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But wait, you're saying, isn't there already an exemption in Obamacare that says religious nonprofits don't have to provide contraception that they (INCORRECTLY BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING STUPID) believe causes abortion, and their Holy Goddamned Religious Freedom is all protected in such cases? Of course there is!

You have questions, we have answers:

So what's the problem here?

Well, the religious organizations have to fill out a form that says "Our Lord's as dumb as we is and thinks these drugs cause 'bortion, so please excuse us from providing that coverage," so their employees can procure that insurance coverage elsewhere, either directly from the insurance company or through other means. This was the Obama administration's way of applying some kind of ointment to the religious right's butthurt, even though it wasn't necessary to do that, because ACCORDING TO THE LAW, fuck those people.

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What's wrong with filling out a form, is forms too hard?

The form requires the name of the organization, and contact information, and a signature, so it takes about two seconds to complete. But, you see, when you fill out the form, you are ipso facto acknowledging that your lady employees might decide to get slut pills you don't like, and that's almost as bad as personally ringing up customers at the food counter at the Planned Parenthood Baby Parts Bar and Grill.

So it's not about the form at all, is it?

Nope. It's about these womb-goblins having the right to control what ladies do with their wherevers and their nakedness areas.

Lemme guess, this has happened before.

Correct as usual! Click here to meet some meek, sweet-as-pie, asshole nuns whose religious freedom has been torn asunder by filling out a fucking form, and then click here to read about how the same thing happened to Notre Dame. Those are just two examples.

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Fucking Hobby Lobby, the Official Supreme Court Decision of Whining Wingnut Fundamentalist Christians.

But haven't courts ruled that filling out those forms doesn't have fucktits to do with anybody's religious freedom?

Of course!

How long will the religious right whine about this?

Until they FUCKING DIE.

But that cum-sock Texas A.G. Paxton, he's going to jail forever, right?

If we all pray hard enough, maybe!

[Texas Tribune]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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