Gross Trump Campaign Idiot Brad Parscale Can't Stop Kicking Himself In The Neckbeard

Trump

Gross Trump campaign manager idiot Brad Parscale and his hobo beard are having a hard time this week.

It wasn't that long ago that Donald Trump was reportedly YELLING AT BRAD PARSCALE and saying YOU ARE GONNA BE SO SUED! He was very mad that Parscale told him internal polling showing that Joe Biden was handily beating the shit out of him everywhere. And that's Brad Parscale's fault, because nothing is Donald Trump's fault, and it can't be that Trump is the most hated president in American history presiding over the worst economy since the Great Depression, caused by his incompetence in dealing with the worst pandemic since the Spanish flu that Trump thinks caused the end of World War I.

Brad Parscale is a piece of shit, and his neckbeard looks like it smells like a roux of spilled Natty Light, last night's drunken cigarettes, and regrets, but it's actually not his fault that the polls say what they say. At least not entirely.

Brad Parscale's own-goals this week, though, those are his fault.


This is the one you might have seen, if you play on Twitter.

And the whole entire internet of Star Wars fans came together and got this weird look on their faces and said, "FUN FACT! Do you know what happens to the Death Star?"

pop tv GIF by Schitt's Creek Giphy

This dude from the Biden campaign can serve as a stand-in for all the nine million tweets making fun of Parscale:

Or maybe Asha Rangappa's reaction will serve us nicely:

And then there was the aspect this journalist pointed out, that we are experiencing a pandemic that has claimed the lives of 76,537 people in the United States (officially, so far, and that's an undercount because America's testing regime is shit). So is ... is this really the pop culture reference you're going for, Brad? Hm?

Brad Parscale was not deterred, though, as idiots seldom are, and really, we think he may never have seen the movies (don't spoiler it for him!), because he blamed "the media" for naming the Trump campaign "the Death Star" and, well, OK, if the shoe fits. Laugh all you want, U GUYS!

So that happened.

The second instance of Parscale kicking himself in the neckbeard this week was flagged by Wonkette alum "Gary," and it started with the hottest new idea for Trump campaign idiots trying to get the idiot Trump re-elected, as Americans drop dead by the tens of thousands because of Trump's malevolent incompetence.

Well, if they literally want Trump's coronavirus failures to be written all over their faces ...

Uh oh, Brad Parscale does!

They also come in blue.

You have to grow the hobo beard that awkwardly sticks out of only one side of the bottom of the mask on your own.

The end.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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