Grown-Up Tough Guy Ron DeSantis Stands Up To Masked High School Bullies, Doesn't Even Start To Cry

State/Local Politics
Grown-Up Tough Guy Ron DeSantis Stands Up To Masked High School Bullies, Doesn't Even Start To Cry

Florida GOP Governor Ron DeSantis, who at all times has the puffed up, watery-eyed look of a person who does lines of pollen like others do cocaine, did some event in Florida today at the University of South Florida. We will not be spending time on what the event was about, because you don't care.

The event was at USF, but the people standing behind him were high school students, students at Middleton High in Tampa, who were presumably drafted into standing behind Ron DeSantis for the photo-op, as if any young person in their right mind has any desire to stand behind Ron DeSantis.

And the governor, a grown man, was VERY UPSET they were wearing masks. And you know what Ron DeSantis does when he gets VERY UPSET. He has a little conniption, that's what he does! He gets mad! He huffs and he puffs! He makes those sounds babies make that make their parents go "Hungry or full diaper? Hungry or oh LOL now I smell it."

And thus did he face down those children and make his displeasure at their masks known.

Look at old Madsy the Clown up there. What an Irate Ichabod. An Annoyed Alexander! An Enraged Enrique! Look at Vexed Victor! What an Irritated Irving. Just a REAL Exasperated Edward.

He's beside himself! He's hot under his collar! He's on a warpath! He's about to have a dying duck fit! Those kids really DILLED HIS PICKLE. He's madder than a snake that married a garden hose!

Poor guy. Those kids who probably didn't even want to be there just really got him goin'. And now they've turned Ron DeSantis into a real Hollerin' Howard!

We love how he angrily points at the kids and then when he turns away you can see that he's still just seething, but also his heart is probably racing like he's kind of excited that he went for it and stood up to those kids.

Like maybe he was thinking of the time his own father taught him how to fight back against bullies, and now that he is a mature adult man, he knows who the real bullies are, and it is those kids.

Once DeSantis started talking, after he collected himself and locked his feelings about the mean masked children up in his feelings box so he could process them later, he talked about how other places (presumably places that are not Ukraine) just "fold the minute there's any type of adversity." He asked, "can you imagine if he [Putin] went into France, would they do anything to put up a fight? Probably not."

That's right. Ron DeSantis thinks that if Vladimir Putin invaded France, the French people would just be fine with it. Surely they wouldn't exhibit the bravery Ron DeSantis showed up there when he came in the room and saw that the kids standing behind him were personally bullying him by wearing masks. That was bravery, what Ron DeSantis did, just like it was bravery and also very funny at CPAC when Ron DeSantis called the Biden administration the "Brandon administration."

We double dog dare Ron DeSantis to go try to invade some French village and see what happens.

Picture it: that dumbass up there overturning a bunch of baguettes while screaming "ALLONS-Y, BRANDON!"


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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