Guess Sheriff David Clarke Will Only Kill People In Milwaukee, Not Whole Country, Darn.

it's not that he's unqualified; turns out he was five pieces of flair short of the minimum

Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke has decided he doesn't want a job at the Department of Homeland Security after all, despite his obvious delight at the prospect of somehow bringing to the federal government his extensive expertise in letting people die in jail and sending a posse to intimidate airline passengers who give him the stink-eye. And yet, for some reason, Clarke has now decided he can best serve the interests of Making America Great Again in some other capacity, like maybe fading from public view and not being a huge embarrassment. OK, probably not that one.

An "adviser" for Clarke -- yeah, county sheriffs need advisers when they're as impressive as David Clarke -- Craig Peterson, offered this explanation of the decision:

Late Friday, Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke Jr. formally notified Secretary of Homeland Security John F. Kelly that he had rescinded his acceptance of the agency’s offer to join DHS as an assistant secretary [...] Sheriff Clarke is 100 percent committed to the success of President Trump and believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.

Translation: There was no way that even this administration could hope to get this bozo into a federal job. As the Washington Post puts it, ever so diplomatically, a source "close to the administration" explained Clarke's appointment faced "significant delays that contributed to his withdrawal." Looks like DHS was in a diplomatic mood, too:

A spokesman for the Department of Homeland Security said: "Sheriff Clarke is no longer being considered for a position within DHS. We wish him well."

See? That was awfully kind -- not even a "Don't call us, we'll call you" or "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out." And even though Clarke's not going to work for the feds, Donald Trump met with him last Tuesday so they could have a nice chat about other ways he could prove his loyalty to the Great Leader. Yes, of course Trump met with Clarke -- David Clarke is on TV, after all:

"The sheriff is reviewing options inside and outside of government," Peterson said. "Sheriff Clarke told Secretary Kelly he is very appreciative of the tremendous opportunity the secretary was offering, and expressed his support for the secretary and the agency."

Maybe he'll go on secret missions behind enemy lines with a ragtag band of vigilantes! Or perhaps he'll get a full time job on Fox News so he can yell at Black Lives Matter and warn about their imminent merger with ISIS, like he did in 2015:

Probably the biggest surprise coming out of the Washington Post's coverage of Clarke's decision to "rescind" his acceptance of the job offer is that it turns out there really was a job offer; ever since Clarke said in May that he was looking forward to arresting all the terrorists who go to anti-Trump marches, we'd assumed that, as usual, he was full of shit. We were ready to say he'd decided to "turn down" the "job" because he was distraught over the death of his Canadian girlfriend -- possibly after accidentally impaling herself on one of 307 pins on Clarke's uniform. But as WaPo reporter Abby Phillip explains, there really was a "tentative job offer letter" from DHS to Clarke, and yes, a "Tentative Job Offer letter" is also a real thing for federal jobs that require a security check and stuff.

The position Clarke will not be filling was "Assistant Secretary for Office of Partnership and Engagement/State and Local Law Enforcement," which sounds like it might have conflicted with Clarke's deep moral opposition to creeping federal power. After all, back in 2015, he was very suspicious of federal involvement with local law enforcement agencies:

So yeah, he probably turned the job down out of moral indignation once he thought about all the possibilities for tyranny. That has to be it.

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[WaPo / WaPo / Abby Phillip on Twitter]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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