Guess Who Wants A Peek At Donald Trump's Tax Returns!

Guess Who Wants A Peek At Donald Trump's Tax Returns!

0124-mitt-romney-tax-return_full_600 Mitt, trying to remember just how rich he is, anyway

It's time for a 2012 election flashback! Won't that be fun! As if you are not already weary/terrified enough of the current election cycle, but just trust us on this one, OK?

OK. Remember when Mitt Romney was running? You remember Mitt. Dull fellow. Dull, but incredibly incredibly rich. And everyone pointed out that it would be really nice if we knew exactly how much money Mitt Romney had, particularly since he had rich people things like a car elevator and a wife who was a dressage enthusiast, which sounds kinky but just means she spent a lot of money on her fancy horse. Maybe that still sounds kinky. Ick.

ANYWAY. What were we saying? So when Mittens was running, everybody wanted to get a peek under the hood of his tax returns because of him being a Richie Rich. And he did finally release them, sorta kinda. He dropped his 2010 returns in January of 2012 but dragged his feet on his 2011 tax returns until September 2012, less than 2 months out from the general election, and did so late on Friday to take advantage of the Friday news dump, and it was also the same week as the whole 47% debacle, so the week was already fucked, really. And he only ever issued what he called a "summary" of the previous 20 years which (a) is not really a thing and (b) just served to obscure how mega-rich he was.

But today, here comes Mitt, lurching out of wherever really rich people hang out after they've failed at attaining their most desired job yet still have all the money in the world, to demand that Donald Trump release his tax returns ASAP.

“I think frankly I think we have good reason to believe that there’s a bombshell in Donald Trump’s taxes,” Mr. Romney said in an interview with Fox News.

Asked what he meant, Mr. Romney shared some theories: “Either he’s not as anywhere near as wealthy as he says he is or he hasn’t been paying the kind of taxes we would expect him to pay, or perhaps he hasn’t been giving money to the vets or to the disabled like he’s been telling us he’s been doing.”

You have to love that what Mitt is really insinuating here is that maybe, just maybe, Donald isn't as rich as he seems. Unlike Mitt, who is exactly as rich as he seems.

Incredibly overbuilt pot that costs $100,000 and has a car elevator, meet gold-encrusted, bejeweled, bedazzled huge kettle. You guys are so great together.



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