Here is a story that will warm the hearts of all patriotic Americans with guns firmly held by cold dead hands, out of which none can pry them! There are people out there who think it might be wise to fight for a little more gun control, a little more responsibility on the part of gun owners, so kids don't get massacred at school or accidentally shot by their siblings. This is an un-American belief, so these people must be tracked, and wouldn't you know it, there's an app for that:


On Thursday morning, a handful of anti-gun-violence activists realized there is an app in the Google Play Store with their names on it—literally. The app, Gunfree Geo Marker, features a map pinpointing the home and work addresses of politicians, gun control organization employees, and "random anti-gun trolls" who "push the anti-gun agenda in any way, shape or form."

Clicking on a person’s name in the menu reveals their address on a Google map, along with the app creator's reasons for including that person in the app.

For instance, Joseph Quint, a photographer who is working on a documentary about gun violence, is described as "an anti-gun troll who is so confident that he is right, he is afraid to defend his position." Andrea J. Markley, a woman who is vocal about gun control issues on social media, is described as "aka liberal hippie queen." Ladd Everitt, the head of communications for the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence, is simply listed with his job title.

As you can see, the Gunfree Geo Marker app is very helpful, as it tells you where people live or work, and also why the person listed is such a terrible communist gun-grabber:

Of course, you might be thinking, wow, that is kind of scary for rabid gun enthusiasts, who might be carrying the gun they stole from their mom's safe, to be tracking their enemies in this way, and why would they need to do that? But rest assured, the anti-gun people (who are not actually anti-gun) DID IT FIRST. You see, there is another app, called Gun Geo Marker, and it tracks locations -- not of gun-humpers, mind you -- where guns might be used in a not so safe and responsible way. Gun Geo Marker's guidelines specifically lay out what can and cannot be marked on their map:

The App is explicitly not designed for and can not be used for marking people. It is explicitly for marking locations where a gun related danger might exist. Also, it not to be used to mark sites associated with the safe and legal use of firearms, as the marking categories reveal.

There will naturally be some uncertainty about whether any particular location actually represents an unsafe gun situation, and again, the general guideline is that you should only mark locations about which you have a gun related concern, while trying to provide enough extra information for others to make their own determination about safety. It is important to remain clear headed about your assessment and avoid misunderstandings.

The app specifically states that they are pro-Second Amendment, so its users should not theoretically be enemies of the fanatics who track their locations, except oh yeah, there is a big difference between a normal person who believes in the right to bear arms and a rabid gun nut with paranoid fantasies that Obama is going to declare himself dictator for life and declare martial law any day now, you'll see.

Gun Geo Marker goes on to lay out specific things that might be cause for alarm, like "unlocked/unloaded/unsafe storage" and "frequent unlawful discharge." The gun nuts may not like the category marked "anti-government/terror threat" though:

People who stockpile large arsenals or numerous assault weapons for reasons other than collecting are possibly a concern. Bumper stickers or other public displays supporting gun ownership are not a problem at all, but when combined with radical anti-government propaganda and/or representations of paranoid political or religious beliefs, racism, or support for terrorist organizations, the locations of such arsenals may well be worth marking.

Very nuanced, we think! Bumper stickers are cool, but huge arsenals tied to paranoid religious beliefs or terrorism? It MIGHT be good to pin that one on the map.

Gun Geo Marker was created by a man by the name of Brett Stalbaum, who explains that no, seriously, really, he is not anti-gun, he is just anti-irresponsible idiots who accidentally shoot everyone's dicks off because they trip and fall while Krogering. Stalbaum's full identifying info has reportedly been published on the Gunfree Geo Marker app:

“My project is a pro-Second Amendment project but it doesn’t align with the [extreme] guns rights dogma,” Stalbaum said. “The best way to preserve gun rights is to be responsible. Open carry in a Taco Bell is not responsible.”

To be fair to the paranoid gun people, those packets of Fire Sauce can be TOUGH to open sometimes. Maybe you do need a gun at the Taco Bell? We don't know, we usually just use our teeth.

Stalbaum makes very clear that his "this place might not be safe" app is NOT intended for harassment. But the other one, Gunfree, which stalks wishy-washy peaceniks who somehow feel safe going unarmed into the ballpit at Chuck E. Cheese clearly is. Ladd Everitt, listed as one of those being tracked by the gun-humpers' app, says this kind of thing is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the harassment they deal with every day:

“Harassment is par for the course,” said Everitt, who is the communications director for the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence in Washington, D.C., and learned from others in the gun violence prevention community he had been doxxed a few days before Fast Company published the story.

Anti-gun violence advocates readily admit that harassment and violent threats from those with differing opinions are just part of their daily work. Like brewing coffee in the morning, it’s expected and blends in with the mundane backdrop of the office. The divisiveness of the gun debate, like many political discussions online, is deeply emotional with people on all sides convicted in their beliefs. But online, the debate has given way to a culture that accepts harassment as a form of rhetoric.

“This behavior is tolerated by the pro-gun movement and it’s not right, but unfortunately it’s something we have to go through,” Everitt said of the misogynistic, racist and “insurrectional” threats he’s encountered while working as a gun violence prevention advocate.

Doxing, according to Fast Company, is not a bizarre sex verb that in any way involves our Doktor Zoom, but is rather a term that refers to "posting people’s personal information—phone numbers, addresses, names of their relatives—online, along with an implicit invitation to use this data for nefarious purposes." It is rude and bad and potentially very dangerous, and it is part of the Internet As We Know It Today. Fast Company notes that these aren't the only malcontents known to engage in it -- ISIS and GamerGate people have done it too. WHAT GREAT COMPANY YOU ALL ARE IN.

According to Think Progress, Google removed the gun-humper app from its store when Fast Company first reported on it, but it resurrected itself like Jesus, with a slightly different name, not long after. Google axed that one too, because Google is a communist gun-grabber too, apparently.

Whichever side of the gun debate you fall on -- we are openly declaring ourselves right now as "not interested in having that discussion" -- I think we can all agree that if some gun control advocate ends up getting hurt as a result of this, it will DEFINITELY be too soon and very rude to have a conversation about gun control, and besides, the perpetrator was probably a Muslim.

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[Fast Company/Think Progress]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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