Mothers of America, your prayers have been answered! An Iowa mom has figured out the secret to looking after your baby while still finding time for the real love of your life -- your gun. An NRA-licensed shooting instructor has started a training class to teach moms how to pack heat while still holding their babbies. It's Ma Barker approved!


Melody Laurer started this brilliant child endangerment scheme after she realized there was no gun safety training available for gun-enthusiast attachment-parents like her, which is the most specific demographic we can imagine right now. To quote Laurer:

I’ve coslept with my babies, I’ve been wearing my babies, I’ve loved them, and I’ve worn a gun the whole time.

Aw, isn't that sweet? She slept with her gun in the bed. Like it's a puppy.

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Laurer has been working two jobs for the past few years: as a saleswoman at a gun store, and as an administrator at an attachment parenting center that teaches childbirth, baby-wearing, and breastfeeding. Her goal in starting this course was to combine those two loves in a fun and "safe" way. We're glad she went with this idea rather than her first idea of a semi-automatic breastpump.

Yet for some time, Laurer felt ashamed to let either of her jobs know about the existence of the other, because she had the crazy idea that her lovey-dovey helicopter mommy friends might look at her funny if they found out she was constantly armed to the teeth. You see, Laurer wears a holster at all times, even while she is fully wrapped in baby swaddles. In her words, such an arrangement is much safer than keeping her gun in a diaper bag, where it's doing absolutely nothing to defend her from ... uh ... we'll get back to you.

Above all, though, Melody emphasizes that this course, called "Babywearing and Carrying," is for the children:

“The idea for the class came out of hearing about the kid in Idaho who shot his mom recently. That touched me in a very deep way because my daughter was 2 at the time,” Lauer, 30, with kids ages nine months, 3, and 6, tells Yahoo Parenting. “I thought, there’s no reason this should happen. We are adults and can be responsible.”

You're right, Melody. There is no reason this should happen. Now most parents would respond to that by not exposing their child to a gun in the first place so the chance of their kid shooting them would be zero, but your idea works too, we guess. Desensitize the little rugrat early to the sight of Mommy's gun, and he will probably never ever try to pull it out and play with it. We wish you luck in your endeavors, Melody. Just remember to keep your trigger finger separate from your teething finger. Nothing does a baby body good like a mouthful of gunpowder.

[Yahoo Parenting]

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