Guy Who Predicted Trump Would Win Isn't The False Prophet, YOU'RE The False Prophet
For almost the entire year leading up to the 2020 election, practically every self-declared Christian prophet or prophetess with a YouTube channel was declaring that God told them, personally, that Donald Trump would win. But as it turned out, either God was a big ol' liar or they were, because Trump very much lost that election. I am going with the latter because I do not think there is a God.
Some have tried to backtrack. Others have asserted that being a prophet doesn't actually mean being able to predict future events. Kris Vallotton — a "prophet" who predicted Trump would win, then apologized for predicting Trump would win, then retracted that apology — explained that actually, "a false prophet is not someone who gives a bad prophetic word, but instead is someone who has an evil heart." If that is the case, they should probably come up with a term that doesn't actually have anything to do with predicting the future or having magic powers. Like "nice person" or something to that effect.
Another person who predicted Trump would win and was wrong was rightwing prophet Hank Kunneman — and not only is he not apologizing for having been wrong about his prophecy, God hates you if you think he is a false prophet.
"God hates six things," Kunneman said. "Number one: a proud look. Number two: a lying tongue. Number three: abortion, or hands that shed innocent blood. Yeah, you thought it was OK to vote for [Joe Biden]? [Number four:] a heart that devises wicked imaginations, and yet you voted for them. It's obvious, their wicked imaginations on how they want to destroy this country. [Number five:] feet that are swift in running to mischief. It's amazing how quickly they signed their executive orders; that's called feet that run quickly to mischief."
"But notice something," he continued. "God hates what? He didn't say He hates discord. He hates you that are being a troll. He hates you that are attacking your Christian brothers and sisters. 'Yeah, but they're false. They're wrong.' Excuse me. How do you know? 'Because it hasn't come to pass.' How do you know that it hasn't come to pass? First of all, the president was reelected. Let's get that clear. Second of all, he was given a second term based on reelection. 'Well, he's not serving it now?' Because it was stolen by thieves."
So basically he is saying that Joe Biden successfully pulled one over on God. That is quite an impressive feat, even if God does not exist.
Kunneman is not the only prophet still claiming that Trump won. Even after the election, "prophet" Jeremiah Johnson told his YouTube audience:
As someone who is in touch with all the prophets in America, who have prophesied that Donald Trump would win a second term, they are not giving an inch. They are not willing to budge. They are not willing to repent. All of us are unanimous, believing the word God spoke to us that Trump indeed would win a re-election. And that what's happening right now, the false prophets of the media literally cutting themselves, they are dancing in the street, they are shouting.
I don't know what that means, but I can honestly tell you that I am pretty sure that no one is doing any of those things listed above, at least not all at the same time. I would say that if someone can't even accurately explain what is happening in the moment, it would follow that they are not very good at predicting the future, either.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse