Handsome Joe Biden Knows How Stupid Ben Carson's Gay Prison Comments Were, Jesus, God!
Do you all remember last week, when Republican Presidential (Hilariously) Hopeful Ben Carson said that we know that gayness is a choice, due to all these dudes go to prison, and they end up doing Guy Sex while they're in there? And how when they get out of prison, they never sexxx a lady again, due to they have been cured of their heterosexuality, by the guy who runs the prison gang? (He didn't say that part, but we're taking it to its natural conclusion.)
Yeah, well, your Joe Biden, who is the president of being Vice Presidents, had a little reaction to that at some gay event for the Human Rights Campaign.
Emphasizing the progress that has been made on gay rights, Biden said that “even two years ago,” homophobic statements would have been “if not embraced, not viewed as having generated any political liability.”
“Now, every ridiculous assertion, from Dr. Carson on,” he continued. “I mean, Jesus, God,” Biden said to loud cheers. “Oh, God.”
“I mean, it’s kind of hard to fathom, isn’t it?” he asked. “But think about the universal ridicule. That wouldn’t have happened two years ago, five years ago. It matters.”
You want to hear him say it with his mouth, we know you do, because he says it in that way that only Handsome Joe Biden can deliver:
Jesus, God! He would have said "Jesus Fucking Christ!" at Ben Carson's idiot comments, but he has apparently been to Obama School, and learned that you should limit your swears to only once every few speeches, and don't use the F-word on stage.
For the record, yr Wonkette's friend Dan Savage was kinda funny about dumb Ben Carson's statement, inviting Carson to Do a Nice Time to His Penis to prove that anybody can become gay under the right circumstances.
Here is the Mean that Dan said on the Twitter to Ben Carson:
At press time, Wonkette is able to verify that Ben Carson has not yet sucked Dan Savage's cock, though we understand that the invitation is still open, and we are pretty sure that Dan has cleared it with his hawt husband Terry (you still have a chance, Ben!). Also, your Wonkette is lying, we did not call Dan to check on his current Ben Carson Sucked My Dick status, but Dan is a friend, we probably would have heard about it.
Of course, due to Dan making a dick joke on the Twitter, the usual idiot suspects are now asking why Dan is not on the Southern Poverty Law Center's list of hate groups, because they clearly don't understand that the SPLC doesn't make those designations based on "your mom" jokes, but that they actually have specific criteria for who gets listed, one of which is a long record of LYING. And who lies about LGBT people all the time? Cue Peter LaBarbera, more popularly known as Porno Pete, the crazy, sad, anti-gay activist who actually gets a paycheck to support his children and his likely undersexed wife for jumping all over Dan Savage's dick, and JoeMyGod's, and Wayne Besen's, and mine, we are like his Four Horse-Dicks Of The GayPocalypse*, SEE NOTE AT BOTTOM:
And Dan was all "you can't have showtunes without butt stuff." I mean, how does Pete think Andrew Lloyd Webber figured out the melodies for CATS? Also, we are currently unaware how much sodomy it takes to make a "sodomies," but it's probably at least 57.
Dan went on the television yesterday and reminded Ben Carson that being gay for men (OR LADIES, if being a lady who is into ladies is your cup of dicks) is not a choice, but douchebag religious beliefs are DEFINITELY a choice, and that's good, because that is a thing that should be pointed out. But this post is not about that, we got off track because of Porno Pete, this post is about your svelte American Vice President Handsome Joe Biden saying, "Jesus, God!" to stupid Ben Carson and his gay prison comments, because Ben Carson is not ANYBODY'S cup of dicks.
*If you are a gay porn producer and you read this and the phrase "Four HorseDicks Of The Gaypocalypse" gives you an idea for a moviefilm, you must credit both Wonkette and Evan Hurst, and we demand a happy ending in the form of CA$H.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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