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Trump has to be more careful about those retweets


Heidi Cruz would like to tell all you people that Ted Cruz is not the Zodiac Killer. Then again, that's exactly what you'd expect the wife of the Zodiac Killer to say, now isn't it? It's not like she's going to come out and admit it.

In a Yahoo News piece inspired by Larry Wilmore's riffs at the White House Correspondents' Dinner Saturday, Mrs. Cruz responded to the internet meme and insisted she knows of no serial killing in her husband's past:

“Well, I’ve been married to him for 15 years, and I know pretty well who he is, so it doesn’t bother me at all. There’s a lot of garbage out there,” Heidi said.

We would simply like to point out that this proves nothing. Bernie Madoff's wife had no idea what he was up to, either. But because this is the 2016 presidential campaign, Yahoo was careful to point out that it is all the result of an internet meme anyway:

There is a popular Internet meme where people have asked whether Ted Cruz is the infamous Zodiac Killer, who was responsible for a string of unsolved murders and taunting letters to law enforcement in California during the late 1960s and early ’70s. This meme has spread widely, even though Cruz was born in 1970, two years after the first killings took place and is most definitely not the Zodiac Killer

Look, Yahoo, you aren't going to go convincing people with weak facts like that. Not in a world where significant portions of the electorate believe Barack Obama is a foreign-born Muslim who is actively working to destroy America, that astrology is real, or that humans and dinosaurs lived at the same time. Besides, some of the evidence is so compelling!

To their credit, Yahoo apparently didn't originally plan to ask Heidi Cruz about the Zodiac Killer thing; it simply arose sort of organically while they were covering her:

Yahoo News asked Heidi about his remarks after a pair of supporters she met with marveled at her ability to “deal with” the “smearing and the scorched-earth stuff going on” during this heated GOP primary.

“Well, it’s amazing how a lot of people are swayed by it,” Heidi said. “Part of it is, the news media is 24/7, and they don’t let up.”

Huh. Well, now we're going to have to ask Heidi Cruz for a citation -- we're fairly certain that the chances anyone really believes Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer, or would "be swayed" by an internet meme about it, are roughly equal to the possibility that Ted Cruz actually is the Zodiac Killer.

Or maybe Heidi Cruz was simply acknowledging, as obliquely as humanly possible, that her husband is such a creepy dude it's no surprise people might joke about him being a serial killer. It has to be hard being married to a guy so many people simply can't stand.

[Yahoo News]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Photo by Wonkette Operative 'Teecha'

If it's Sunday, this must be Nice Things, our weekly escape from the quotidian awfulness. Our featured doggo this week comes via a photo by Wonkette reader "Teecha," and we don't think Teecha mentioned a name for this lovely old rescue dog. If it is a dog at all: I think it may actually be one of Sia's more inventive disguises, like that time she was a little pony.

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The producers of your favorite live-action Jack Chick pamphlet, "God's Not Dead" -- you know, the one where the Hercules dude plays an evil philosophy professor who tells all of his students on the first day that they are no longer allowed to believe in god? As all secular professors do? -- have come out with a thrilling new movie, all about how abortion is bad or whatever.

The movie tells the "true" story of Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic worker turned professional anti-choicer. Johnson has been a darling of the forced birth circuit ever since she made up ridiculous and provably false reasons for quitting the Planned Parenthood that was about to fire her for being bad at her job.

Basically, she claims that Planned Parenthood was pushing her to make more abortions happen so they could reel in more dough, and also that she witnessed (for the first time ever!) an ultrasound-guided abortion and saw the baby move from the light and then immediately realized that what she was doing was wrong.

The thing is, however -- no ultrasound-guided abortions were performed on the day she said it happened, and the only reason there was an uptick in abortions at her clinic was because they started offering the abortion pill on a daily basis (and had previously only been performing surgical abortions every other Saturday).

As you may have guessed, the movie does not address any of these things. It also looks very, very bad.

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