Help, My Husband Is A Homosexual! I Can Have GoFundMe Bigot Bucks Now?
Fights against the gay agenda during divorce filings.
In recent months, aggrieved fundamentalists have turned grifting into an absolute artform. Did a mean homogay come into your flower shop wanting to buy flowers? GoFundMe. Did a terrible nasty lesbian lady ask you, a cake-baker, to bake a cake? Ka-ching! Did you tell the world your pizza joint will NOT be catering gay weddings, even though gays never have pizza joints cater their weddings? OH MY GOD, ROLLING IN MONEY.
Martyrdom in 2015 is sexxxy and lucrative!
But here's a new one. Did you know you can beg for bigot bucks just because you happen to have married a homosexual? It's true! Peter LaBarbera (better known as "Porno Pete," on account of his prurient fetish for photographing leather sex festivals and posting the pics on his "Christian" website) of the Americans For Truth About Homosexuality hate "group," brings us the tragic story of Jennifer Coutlee, whose husband is a real homo, please send her all the crowdfunding money:
The following is an appeal for funds and prayers by Jennifer Coutlee–an Indiana woman and Christian mother of three who is living the ultimate marital nightmare: her husband of 17 years, Wyatt, engaged in secret, adulterous sodomies with other men before finally announcing his homosexuality to her under compulsion of his male lover. Now she has to endure a situation in which her 12-year-old Autistic son is forced to spend time in his dad’s household with the homosexual male lover present. Jennifer has created an online “crowdfunding” site to help her in her legal battles ahead to protect her children.
OK, on the front end, let's assert that it's always very sad when marriages break up because one person has been living in shame in the closet, unable to admit who they really are, until one day they reach their breaking point. Yr Wonkette used to be an activist for an organization that fought the consumer fraud known as the "ex-gay" industry, and we met SO MANY PEOPLE who had been through this. It's tragic, and it's usually fundamentalist religion's fault.
Also on the front end, let's note that sometimes people behave badly in these situations. Her husband MIGHT be acting like an immature dick right now! But we only have her account, so who the fuck knows? Regardless, she's pretty sure she needs crowdfunding bucks:
I am asking for your help through prayer support, financial support, and legal support, as I am just a working mother of three. I am trying to get by on less than a third of the income we had as a whole family. Any financial support would be used to pay for the things that child support, my salary and cashing out my IRAs do not pay for, such as legal fees, housing costs, and any unseen urgent expenses that we may be faced with. God provides the necessities, but we do need help with these other things. Although I know God is calling me to stand firm in His Word and in my faith, I don’t know that I can do this alone.
Oh gosh, she's just a working mother of three, and if this is about her situation, we almost feel sorry for her, except just kidding:
Please help me fight the homosexual agenda. Ultimately, I know how this story ends. GOD WINS! Having my Christian brothers and sisters coming around the children and me will certainly help us as we navigate through this storm.
AHA! She's not just a working mother of three, she needs YOUR MONEY to "fight the homosexual agenda." If she ruins her kids' life in the process, SHRUG.
Within the last year, I have been fighting not just this battle for my children, but a battle for the truth. And although my attorney doesn’t seem to have the guts to take on the homosexual agenda that my husband has wholeheartedly embraced, I will not stand by and let my children be pawns in this game.
Obviously her lawyer doesn't understand the homosexual menace!
Coutlee's account is long-winded and weird. She caught her husband, Wyatt, "posing as a bisexual man" in 2008. They tried to work things out, but she caught him Doing Boners to guys again in November of 2014. He even had a boyfriend! Wyatt told their 15-year-old daughter he was a gay, and obviously the marriage fell apart.
The morning she found out (again), she was understandably upset, and stayed home from work. According to Coutlee, she sat down to read Bible stories and took a nap. According to the hospital where she woke up hours later, she ate "a month worth of Zoloft and various narcotic pain killers" in an attempt to kill herself. WHO CAN SAY?
Though she still wanted to try to save the marriage, she says her husband was committed to "living his new homosexual lifestyle." He introduced the kids to his boyfriend (the horrors!), even though she told him not to. And about his relationship with the kids, she says this:
To Wyatt, the children are his possessions, and he has stated “I can do with them whatever I want to do.” He tells me what he does with them is “none of my business.”
This sounds like a nasty-ass divorce. And again, we only have her side of the story. (Gay husband, you are free to email yr Wonkette at kaili at wonkette dot com to tell your side!) It might just be that everybody in this story, besides the kids, is A Asshole.
But anyway, she's raising bigot bucks on the website of a known anti-gay hate group, airing her family's dirty laundry and naming her children publicly in the process, and using her admittedly shitty situation to fight against "the homosexual agenda."
So fuck her.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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