Wonderful news, America. All of Congress has voted, and for the first time in a very long time, we have a new federal holiday, and it is Juneteenth, commemorating the day — over two years after the Emancipation Proclamation — when the last enslaved people, in Galveston, Texas, found out they were free. (Okay, there was peonage slavery until 1963, but it was illegal too.) As Juneteenth falls on June 19, that means it's Saturday. President Joe Biden will sign the bill later this afternoon.
In the Senate, the vote was unanimous. (Yes, really. It was the absolute least some of those Republicans could do.) And in the House, the vote yesterday afternoon was ... not unanimous. But it was close to unanimous, at 415 to 14.
Wonkette believes in writing things down for history's sake, so here are the 14 absolute garbage piece of shit white men in the House who couldn't bring themselves to vote to recognize a celebration of the end of slavery. May their names be a stain on their history books. When you read this list, you'll see that most of these men's names were already a stain before this vote. This just adds to it.
- Rep. Mo Brooks, R-Ala.
- Rep. Andy Biggs, R-Ariz.
- Rep. Scott DesJarlais, R-Tenn.
- Rep. Tom Tiffany, R-Wis.
- Rep. Doug LaMalfa, R-Calif.
- Rep. Mike Rogers, R-Ala.
- Rep. Ralph Norman, R-S.C.
- Rep. Chip Roy, R-Texas
- Rep. Paul Gosar, R-Ariz.
- Rep. Tom McClintock, R-Calif.
- Rep. Matt Rosendale, R-Mont.
- Rep. Ronny Jackson, R-Texas
- Rep. Thomas Massie, R-Ky.
- Rep. Andrew Clyde, R-Ga.
If your rep is on there, congratulations, that's what you have representing you in Congress. There's Mo Brooks, the seditionist rep who's currently trying to have a process server arrested for doing their job and serving him with a lawsuit. There's Paul Gosar, who took a break from treating Capitol cops like shit to treat Black people like shit. (Indeed, there's some overlap between this list and the list of 21 who just couldn't bring themselves to vote for Congressional Gold Medals for the officers who defended them on January 6.)
There's Andrew Clyde, who called the January 6 attack a "tourist visit." Yesterday, he refused to shake the hand of one of the Capitol cops injured that day. There's that batshit former Trump doctor Ronny Jackson, who just ... we don't know what's wrong with that guy. We seriously don't.
USA Todayshares some of these slave state throwbacks' reasons for voting against Juneteenth. Here's Doctor Ronny!
"We have enough federal holidays right now. I just don't see the reason in doing it," he said. "I don't think it rises to the level I'm going to support it."
It just doesn't "rise to the level" for him, commemorating the end of slavery.
Thomas Massie, a true goddamned idiot, is just really worried people are going to get Juneteenth confused with the Fourth of July:
"I fully support creating a day to celebrate the abolition of slavery, a dark portion of our nation's history. However, naming this day 'national independence day' will create confusion and push Americans to pick one of those two days as their independence day based on their racial identity," Massie said on the House floor. "Why can't we name this 'emancipation day' and come together as Americans and celebrate that day together as Americans?"
That's right, MASS CONFUSIONS! How will people be able to tell the two holidays apart when the dates the respective holidays are held are either mostly or fully in the name of the holidays? Also, has anybody told Rep. Massie that Black people have been celebrating Juneteenth since fucking forever?
Rep. Chip Roy similarly said calling it "Juneteenth National Independence Day" was just too confusing and divisive. You know, for racist white people.
The most insane and racist and lie-filled ignorant bullshit we've seen came from Montana Rep. Matt Rosendale. It's truly breathtaking.
An excerpt:
"Let's call an ace an ace. This is an effort by the Left to create a day out of whole cloth to celebrate identity politics as part of its larger efforts to make Critical Race Theory the reigning ideology of our country. Since I believe in treating everyone equally, regardless of race, and that we should be focused on what unites us rather than our differences, I will vote no."
Don't even try to factcheck it, because the glue-sniffing moron is so far outside of reality as to render factchecking a futile act. He thinks the Left just "made up" Juneteenth five minutes ago. He barks racist rabies words about "Critical Race Theory." He, of course, makes it about how Juneteenth makes white racists FEEEEEEEEL. Fucking snowflakes.
As Matt Rosendale is Editrix Rebecca's personal congressman, we have a feeling she just might write a letter to her congressman today, right here on Wonkette.
As for the rest of us, Juneteenth is Saturday, and that is something worth celebrating.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter.
Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you're not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?
