Apparently, Mr. Speaker of the House of Representatives John Q. Boehner was very ANGRY today, at the "president," Barack Obama. Barack Obama was in Texas yesterday, meeting with Rick Perry about the border children -- as he should have all along -- and then gave a little presser about their talk. It was constructive! he said. Governor Perry had some suggestions Bamz thinks should maybe be implemented! He will direct some guy to look into doing just that, possibly, could be! Well, at that same presser, Bamz bamsplained that he will not actually be able to do anything about the hurricane of children flooding over the levees concertina wire unless the House of Representatives, of which John Boehner is "speaker," gives him some money to do the stuff. Will the House of Representatives give him money to do the stuff they are insisting he should do? Hahahaha not on your fucking life.

And that is why John Boehner is screaming and yelling that the "president" has been "president" for five and a half years (ALAN), "when's he gonna take responsibility for SOMETHING?"

Yes, John Boehner. Why won't the president -- whom you're suing for using executive actions instead of "following the law" -- ignore the 2008 law that says that children must have due process before being deported back to a city with 193 murders per 100,000 people? (New York City's murder rate is 5.1.)

And while we're at it, why won't he use magic beans to pay for the shit you want him to buy but won't give him money for?

And why won't he take responsibility for the Obamacare website, which you specifically underfunded so it would fail?

And why won't he take responsibility for closing the WWII memorial, when you shut down the government?

And why won't he take responsibility for four brave Americans getting murdered, after you cut funding for Embassy security?

Fuckin' Obama, what a jackhole.

[Frank Thorp's Vine]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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