Maryland congresswoman Donna Edwards apparently really likes the White Stripes. They are okay, we agree! But she also has the Magic Power of being able to understand whatever Jack White is wailing about:

Or, she just went to alllyrics.com or something. Also, you may be thinking, "Well she knows about the White Stripes because she's like 25 years old," but no, she is a liberal lawyer and former space scientist and she's 52! Anyway, hooray for Donna Edwards!Salon says this prevented a government shutdown. Whut? And here is the actual song, which is basically an out-of-tune version of "Honky Tonk Women," because why not: