Hero Border Patrol Chick Cold-Cocks Lady For Complaining About Public Knob-Gobbling

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Hero Border Patrol agent Kallie Helwig simplycould not keep Gerald Torello Jr.'s cock out of her mouth at a recent Cirque du Soleil show in Del Mar, California (just up the road from San Diego).


Then the cold shower of other people telling them to zip the fuck up, there were kids around, finally penetrated their sodden skulls and Torello put his member back in his pants. BUT THEN!

A witness only known as "Jenny," had been one of the most vocal audience members who had asked the pair to stop, reports 10news.com.

When Jenny, a military doctor, was leaving the show, she saw that the man and woman were waiting for her near the exit. That's when things got violent.

"Next thing I knew, she punches me on my left temple," said Jenny to 10news.com. "I didn't feel the other two hits. She hit me on the right side of my jaw and the left side of my jaw."

Would you like to know what happened to our hero Border Patrol agent for cold-cocking a female military doctor THREE TIMES? Did you guess "misdemeanor battery citation"? Then you, and the Border Patrol agent, are a winner.

We should all just be glad that California does not have Stand Your Ground yet, enabling Halwig to legally murder "Jenny" for telling her to stop being a whore or whatever, there is always that. So ... thanks! [HuffPo]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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