Hero Congressman Calls For Shoving Military Gays Back Into Closet


Have you heard of Ohio Congressman Jim Jordan (R-kindofsucks)? That’s ok, he is probably pretty useless most of the time, unless you live in his district, in which case he most likely ruins a lot of stuff for you. Anyway, he has had the bright idea of promising to reinstate Don’t Ask Don’t Tell if he is re-elected and his party retakes the House in November. But what about all our Heroes and Warriors that have already come out of the closet? Oh, we’ll just shove them back in, it will be fine, they probably liked it there anyway.

Oh just kidding! He doesn't so much want to fire them or shove them into the closet, he wants to look at guidance from our military (or so he says, conveniently ignoring the fact that the military is cool with gays. It’s ok, he’s a Republican, facts are not his bag). But the actual effects of the bill? Oh that, that is a military issue. He can’t be bothered to figure out the consequences of a given policy! It’s not his JOB, his JOB is raise money for himself and his party, have lunch with lobbyists, and vote for a bill here and there. The rest is up to Someone Else.



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