Donate

A 15-year-old girl whose family recently moved from the libertine environs of Seattle got an important lesson last week about the considerably less "anything goes" expectations of her new high school in the Jacksonville suburb of Orange Park, Florida. Turns out that at Oakleaf High School, young ladies can't just gogallivanting around half-nekkid in trouble-tempting outfits like the one pictured above, as sophomore Miranda Larkin learned when a teacher pulled her aside between classes on the third day of school.


“It was right after first period,” Miranda told ABC News. “I was in the hallway and I got stopped by a teacher who told me my skirt was too short and sent me to the nurse’s office. They told me I was going to have to change and put on the dress-code-violation outfit.”

The teacher took her off to the office, where Miranda had to put on the school's official dress-code violation outfit, a bright yellow top and maroon sweatpants, both with "DRESS CODE VIOLATION" printed across them in large unfriendly letters:

Honestly, we aren't sure why she has a problem with this, since some Florida schools still put sluts in the stocks for wearing skirts above the knee. You are not living in Seattle with all your "tolerant" atheist pothead sea-otter-petting hippie friends anymore, young lady!

“The school has said this is to embarrass you,” said Miranda. “It’s supposed to embarrass you so you don’t do it again.”

For this student, it certainly accomplished that. Miranda said she was so upset she began breaking out in hives, snapping a photo of herself in the oversized tee so her mother could see the punishment.

“It was way too big. It didn’t fit,” she said. “I got really upset and asked if I could call my mom. She was really upset, as well.”

We bet the young troublemaker has learned an important lesson, all right: You are in a high school, a petty tyranny where you need to shut up and do what you're told and not make trouble. And if you don't, you will get hammered down, mercilessly, because you are obviously just looking for attention. You want attention? Here, wear this ugly neon-yellow top. How do you like your attention now, la-dee-da Seattle hippie girl?

Besides, the school's dress code clearly states that skirts must be knee-length or longer. What do you want, anarchy? Miranda and her mom (Obligatory Daily Caller comment: notice there's NO DAD in this story!!!) claim that Miranda should not be held responsible for her willful disrespect for the rules because they only moved to Orange Park eight days before classes started. Are we supposed to believe that eight whole days isn't enough time to read the dress code? It's clearly the most important document at the school. Some people apparently think they're too good for the rule of law, which is how you end up with riots and an ineligible Muslim in the White House ignoring the Constitution.

School district spokesman Gavin Rawlins explained that the school is open to possible changes in how it deals with dress-code violations, just as long as students know who's boss:

“We’re looking at all options, but what we’re not going to do is just change in a knee-jerk reaction,” he said. “We take slow, deliberative action with things. This is what we thought was the best way to handle the situation at the time, but we’re certainly open to looking at other options. What we’re not open to doing is watering down discipline to students.”

Among other concerns, Rawlins noted that if students start getting away with dress code violations, they might also start mouthing off, talking back, running with the wrong crowd, and trying to have pudding when they haven't eaten their meat. Also, he'd just like to clear up one thing. There is no such thing as a "shame suit," even if students and faculty informally refer to such a nonexistent item:

“The purpose of this is not to humiliate,” Rawlins said. “It’s to identify that it’s the school district’s clothing and reiterate that dress code violations will be addressed. The term ‘shaming’ has not been associated with this other than the mom’s own verbiage.”

We're assuming that the district will also launch an investigation aimed at seeking out and punishing any students who refer to the Dress Code Violation Clothing Ensemble as anything other than its correct name. Fucking anarchists.

Yr Wonkette sincerely hopes that Miss Larkin has learned her lesson, and will put away any ridiculous notions that she can get away with shenanigans, tomfoolery, or wearing slutty catsuits like some common jive-talking negress might slink around in while attending some backwoods jook joint. Straighten up and fly right, Miranda, lest you someday find yourself in a hotbed of sin like Oberlin College or Evergreen University, you little malcontent.

[ABC News via ThinkProgress / Image from HappyPlace]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc