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Jorge Garcia's string of non-crimes has finally come to an end.


The New Cruelty racked up another win Monday. Immigration officials saw to it that Michigan resident Jorge Garcia was put on a plane from Detroit and deported to Mexico. Garcia was brought to the USA without papers 30 years ago, when he was 9 years old, and is married to a US citizen; they have two kids, and Garcia has never committed a crime (no, not even when he was 9 -- remember, being without papers is a civil offense). But he was too old to qualify for DACA, none of his other efforts to get legal status had succeeded, and so he had to go "back" to a country he barely remembers from childhood. The Homeland is secure.

Garcia and his wife, Cindy, have spent about $125,000 on legal costs since 2005 trying to find a way for him to stay in the country, but it turns out that just being married to a citizen won't win a green card. There goes another myth, not that anti-immigration wingnuts will ever give it up. He'd been ordered removed in 2009, but granted several stays of removal since then. Not under Donald Trump, though, because Trump promised to get rid of all the dangerous criminal aliens who are causing American Carnage. So the landscaper from the Detroit suburb of Lincoln Park, who'd always paid his taxes and followed the law (apart from viciously letting himself be brought here when he was nine, of course), had to say goodbye to Cindy, and to his daughter Soleil, 15, and his son Jorge Jr., 12, at Detroit Metro Airport, while ICE agents stood nearby to make sure he didn't make a run for it.

Garcia had asked ICE if it would be possible to delay his deportation another month or so, in case Congress worked out a new DACA bill with more generous age limits, but nothing doing. The law is the law, and what part of "illegal alien" don't you understand? Besides, Michigan congresswoman Debbie Dingell had already intervened in his case -- he'd originally been scheduled to be deported the day after Thanksgiving, but she persuaded ICE to allow Garcia to be with his family for the holidays. Which turned out to not be very festive anyway, so that shows how wasted mercy is on your illegals, doesn't it?

Our favorite bitterly ironic paragraph from the Detroit Free Press coverage:

A spokesman for ICE told the Free Press on Monday that he could not immediately comment since it was a federal holiday, and their offices are closed.

You know, to remember Martin Luther King, whose dream Donald Trump said was shared by all Americans. The White House issued a very inspiring tweet about that beautiful dream:

Mind you, it says OUR people, and if you don't have the papers you're not our people so fuck you -- no dreams for illegals. Now be quiet: Trump has to concentrate on this putt.

Still, this has to be good for America, right? Cindy Garcia, who's retired from a truck plant in Dearborn, says she's not sure she'll be able to make enough money to support herself and the kids, but surely she'll get a new job once all the illegals have been deported and the manufacturing jobs come roaring back thanks to the tax cut. And yeah, their two kids will be adults before Garcia will be eligible to even apply to come back to the US, in a decade, but they can probably Skype or something.

The main thing is, Donald Trump is keeping his promise, and we're getting exactly the America he said we'd get if he were president, Amen.

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[Detroit Free Press]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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