I’m new here, and have only been guestblogging for about a week. But I want to submit an entry for Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year (Federal Level Edition). He is my old pal, Rep. Frank Lucas (R-Black Cloud of Poor Hating). Last week, he was working on screwing the poors overseas. Let’s see how he wants to make sure the poor stay hungry and pliant here in the US of A, too!

Finally, this recession is getting a little better, and the unemployment numbers and the deficit level are dropping. Sure, lots of people are still poors and whatnot, but it is getting better. As good libruls, Yr Wonkette believes that with a little help from government programs like reduced price (or even free!) school lunches, food stamps, and help with heating bills during the winter, the gubment can help folks in rough times so they are better positioned to get a jerb when the economy gets better. And just as things are looking to get better, cue a farthead from the GOP to come in and give us a rainy cloud of foaming sploding pig shit.

Top hat and monocle in place -- which does look odd in his home state of Oklahoma -- Rep. Lucas continues to find ways to keep the poor from extravagances like food and water. He is leading the GOP on the Ag Committee, and just passed a Farm Bill that cuts $20 billion in food stamp (now called SNAP) benefits. When asked about cutting $20 billion dollars from a program that helps people literally put food on their table, Lucas said that the reductions, “"won't take a calorie off the plate of anyone who needs help."

I know it is early, and you might be on your first Irish coffee too, but I have a hard time not believing that Lucas might be lying.

Lucas wants to change the rules of how people qualify for SNAP. In some states, when people sign up for one assistance program, they are automatically enrolled in SNAP. This saves time for people, reduces duplication on behalf of the federal government, and allows more people to, you know, eat. But Lucas, as we have seen before, is not a fan of efficiency. Make things easier on the poors? While he is all for simplifying the tax code, that would help mostly rich people, and the government is here to make things easier for the rich and harder for the poor, remember? So fuck those poors – let’s make them fill out even more paperwork than shady Tea Party tax-exempt groups!!!

So thanks, Rep. Lucas, for using your bootstrap to pull yourself up, then using said boot to kick the food off the table of hungry people. It’s just like some guy said: “The poor will always be with you, so fuck those guys.” (Jesus of Nazareth, New GOP Version).

Hey, speaking of religious-types people, how did religious groups react to your farm bill? Let’s have a look:

“A vote for this level of cuts is shameless,” said David Beckmann, president of Bread for the World.

“We as a society have a special obligation to consider first the needs of the poor, even as we act through government. The proposed cuts to this vital program put a disproportionate burden on the very people our Catholic tradition teaches us to elevate in our public consciousness,” said Father Larry Snyder, President of Catholic Charities USA.

“If divided evenly across Feeding America’s national network of food banks, every food bank would have to provide an additional 4 million meals each year for the next ten years, and that is just not possible,” said Bob Aiken, president and CEO of Feeding America.

Feeding America estimates that these cuts would amount to over 8 billion lost meals for struggling families.

Clearly these religious people are full of shit.  I just read that Rep. Lucas said that cutting $20 billion wouldn’t hurt anyone! Plus, what do faith-based groups like Bread for the World and Catholic Charities know about what Jesus would want, anyway? They must be drunk on communion wine.

But DDM, is there anyone in Congress who isn’t a shitmuffin? Glad you asked! Rep. James McGovern (D-Righteous Dude) has been fighting for years to help improve government services to feed the hungry both domestically and internationally. He is on the Ag committee and offered an amendment to reduce the cuts to food stamps. It failed. Still, if any of you readers are Massholes, you should give his office a ring and say thanks.

And if you are unfortunate enough to live in Oklahoma, Yr Wonkette shares this advice: You might be confronted by the instinct to drink alone. Trust that instinct. Manage the pain. Don’t be a hero.

Also, that Lucas guy can drink $20 billion worth of dicks.

[Boston Herald/Red Orbit/West Wing]