Hero Texas Lady Wants To Look Into Your Genes Before You Use The Toilet
Let's hear it for Texas state Rep. Debbie Riddle, who has filed an exciting new bill to make sure that people only go to the toilets that God intended them to. Her genius legislation would make it a Class A misdemeanor for transgendered people to use public restrooms, showers, or locker rooms of their preference -- even if they've had gender reassignment surgery.
Rep. Riddle is no stranger to Wonkette. Back in 2010, she went on CNN to tell Anderson Cooper all about the threat America faced from TERROR BABIES: Far worse than anchor babies, these infants were supposedly part of a plot by Our Enemies to infiltrate the Homeland with lots of pregnant Terrorist Ladies, who would give birth to U.S. citizens who would then be brought up as actual homegrown citizen terrorists!
She heard all about it from the FBI, which promptly denied that any such thing was a concern, so you know it had to be real. Even now, our daycares are filled with Terror Tots. Riddle also believes that public schools were invented in Communist Russia. Strangely enough, she has not been on our radar since then, though god knows we're setting up a Google Alert right now.
Just to make sure nobody cheats by looking and walking and talking like the wrong gender, Riddle's bill includes a careful definition of gender:
For the purpose of this section, the gender of an individual is the gender established at the individual's birth or the gender established by the individual's chromosomes. A male is an individual with at least one X chromosome and at least one Y chromosome, and a female is an individual with at least one X chromosome and no Y chromosomes. If an individual's gender established at the individual's birth is not the same as the individual's gender established by the individual's chromosomes, the individual's gender established by the individual's chromosomes controls under this section.
That's pretty good! This way, no pervy men can sneak into the ladies' room through the mere expedient of years of hormone treatments and surgery, just so they can experience the sicko thrill of peeing next to real ladies!
The bill does generously allow some exceptions -- children under eight years of age can accompany their opposite-sex parent to the terlet, and custodial staff are excepted, but only for cleaning purposes, not to perpetrate communist perversions. Same for medical emergencies, though perhaps we should worry about EMTs showing up, sirens blaring, just to go into the wrong restroom for something sick and perverted. The "Grits for Breakfast" blog notes that the law would also make criminals of any ladies at honkytonks who bypass the long line for the Mares' Room to slip into the unoccupied Stallions'.
As to the enforcement of this law, we have some real questions about how the whole genetic component is supposed to work. Maybe the technology can be developed to allow instant genetic testing from a saliva or blood sample? Just spit right here, and the door unlocks if you've got the right chromosomal arrangement. Or considering who wrote the bill, maybe Riddle will just require a pee test.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.