Rudy Giuliani is the Penguin of Black people's rogues gallery. We have more serious foes, but he's an annoying and persistent threat. Whenever Black people are hurting, he likes to tell us how much we suck and waddle away while twirling his machine gun umbrella. Here's an especially gross remark he made in 2016:

There's too much violence in the black community ... [I]f you want to deal with this on the black side, you've got to teach your children to be respectful to the police and you've got to teach your children that the real danger to them is not the police; the real danger to them, 99 out of 100 times, 9,900 out of 1,000 times, are other black kids who are gonna kill them. That's the way they're gonna die.

Giuliani wasn't bestowed a white hood and Grand Dragon designation after insulting literally the entire Black community. No, he was still permitted to openly stink up polite society. Giuliani is real mad now because the Black Lives Matter movement, which he loathes, has grown in prominence and respect, while his stint as Donald Trump's hack lawyer has pissed away whatever undeserved reputation he might've had.


(Please click the bird to see the whole tweet; our platform is doing that thing again.)

Giuliani believes Black Lives Matter is inherently racist and hypocritical because it only cares about white cops killing Black people. This isn't true, because Black Lives Matter has opposed police violence regardless of the killer cop's race or even the skin color of the victim. Giuliani is also full of shit when he claims that Black Lives Matter specifically or Black people in general don't care about gang violence in Chicago. This is such a debunked rightwing talking point that conservatives might as well argue Black Lives Matter doesn't care when Black unicorns kill each other on the south side of Mars.

As Black Lives Matter's approval ratings rise, Giuliani has gotten so desperate he's suggesting that the movement isn't just opposed to the extrajudicial killings of Black people, it's actually a “ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world."

It's quite an achievement to be the most racist, batshit person on Laura Ingraham's White Power Hour, but Giuliani came through Monday when he claimed — without ... what's that word I'm looking for? Oh, right EVIDENCE — that Black Lives Matter was working with antifa and the communists. They're all “executing a plan they'd written about four or five years ago."

GIULIANI: Black Lives Matter wants to come and take your house away from you. They want to take your property away from you ...They are anarchists and they are anti-American.

I know I've missed a couple meetings, but ... really? That's our master plan? If true, Black Lives Matter aren't “anarchists." They're the IRS or mortgage lenders. And Giuliani can hardly complain about civil asset forfeiture.

Giuliani hadn't calmed down much by Tuesday. It was like he'd spent the night at a racist version of Studio 54, where the McCarthyism is direct from 1954. This is what he posted on Twitter, presumably while in full command of his faculties.

His all-caps, highly agitated "WAKE UP!" is very young Laurence Fishburne from Spike Lee's School Daze. The so-called president is getting slapped with Twitter content warnings, so I guess it's not a shock that a failed presidential candidate like Rudy is shouting gibberish at the rain.

Look, for the billionth time, Black Lives Matter doesn't want to “destroy law enforcement" unless it's impossible for Giuliani to conceive of law enforcement that doesn't specialize in busting Black heads. We prefer guardians to “warriors." We want community policing not occupied neighborhoods.

I'll admit to wanting to end cash bail. I'm not an anarchist. I just believe in due process and don't think someone should lose their liberty until they've actually been convicted of a crime. This doesn't mean I want Hannibal Lecter roaming the streets. If a judge deems you're not a flight risk or a threat to others, like a serial killing cannibal, it shouldn't require a cash settlement to keep you free until trial.

Giuliani also links the reasonable proposals for reparations and universal basic income specifically to Black Lives Matter, as if violent Black gangs are going to shake down honest white Americans. He's fallen asleep while watching Birth of a Nation again.

When I lived in New York, a lot of so-called liberals who'd voted for Giuliani told me with a straight face that he was a “moderate." Sure, he was pro-choice and had a halfway decent drag act, but Black people knew he wasn't shit. We still do, and we're glad the rest of the country is catching up.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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