Do we get to blow a door into the diner this time?

Now here's some transition news we totally believe, since it comes from no less authoritative a source than the Daily Mail, which would never stoop so low as to make stuff up for the hell of it: Donald Trump is supposedly considering Sylvester Stallone to head a government agency, probably the National Endowment for the Arts. Say goodbye to your Piss Christ and your elephant-dung Virgin Mary, and get ready for art that celebrates manliness, fistfights, and stuff blowin' up all over. Just look at the solid journalisming here!

While Stallone is positively disposed to the idea, It is not known whether Stallone will accept the gig. He has spoken previously of his admiration for Trump -- and of his interest in entering politics.

'It's been widely and wrongly assumed that a Trump Presidency will be hostile to the arts,' a source told 'But Mr Trump feels this sort of A-list appointment is precisely the shot in the arm that the industry needs.'

Yup, the Arts industry. We so completely buy this story. After all, it even has this very artsy quote from Sly Stallone himself:

'I love Donald Trump,' he told Variety Magazine. 'He’s a great Dickensian character. You know what I mean? 'There are certain people like Arnold, Babe Ruth, that are bigger than life. But I don’t know how that translates to running the world.'

Huh. We don't know how exactly Stallone's using "Dickensian" there. Maybe "prone to spontaneous combustion," like [spoiler warning] the pawnbroker of Bleak House? Or "insanely optimistic no matter how disconnected from reality" like Mr. Micawber in David Copperfield? Or maybe simply a rich asshole who longs for more poorhouses and prisons, like that Ebenezer Scrooge guy from How The Gingrich Stole Christmas?

Eh. Maybe he meant "Kafkaesque."

Still, the Daily Mail piece does at least have pretty solid information on what the NEA is and does:

Formed in 1965, The National Endowment for the Arts is an independent federal agency that funds, promotes, and supports everything from museums and opera to folk music, dance and design. Its current head, the artist and philanthropist Jane Chu, heads a 14-strong board who can draw upon an annual budget of around $146,200,000.

Folks at the NEA was none too happy about getting booted out of the Old Post Office Building to make way for the Trump Hotel.

They was, was they? Well, consarn it, Sly Stallone will teach them a thing or two, possibly through the manly art of arm rasslin', like in that one movie he was in with the arm rasslin'.

We wouldn't waste much money betting the Daily Mail has this one right. Why, just yesterday the scuttlebutt was that Kanye West would be chosen to run the agency! The closest their reporting might come to reality is that Trump will decide both the NEA and its sister agency the National Endowment for the Humanities belong among The Expendables. That, or the entire budget will be redirected to gold-plating the Washington Monument.

[Daily Mail]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

Donate with CC
Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please help, by making a donation of MONEY.

[Washington Post]

Donate with CC




©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc