Hey, Know Who ELSE Donald Trump Likes To Pardon?

What was your FAVORITE illegal and/or inappropriate thing Donald Trump and the GOP shoved in our faces on the second night of the Republican National Convention? Was it when the former abortion lady whose entire life appears to be a fraud got up there like PEE YEW, abortion smells STINKY? Was it when Melania Trump, dressed as a tinpot dictator's mostly absent wife — typecasting! — abused the people's house with her convention address? When Trump himself took a giant orange shit all over the solemn naturalization ceremony, using immigrants as toy props in his own transmogrified version of the "It's A Small World" ride, to make it look like he actually likes people from places he calls "shithole countries"?

Or was it when, as if to show off his powers, like he was showing off one of those big VROOOOOOM trucks they bring to the White House lawn to distract his excitable brain, he did a pardon ceremony for a bank robber?

Oh man, Donald Trump loves to pardon people. We think not only does it make him feel like God, with the power to grant mercy or damnation, but it also reminds him of his favorite thing, which is pardoning people who commit crimes for him. You know, as long as they're still loyal to the king. Or if, like Roger Stone, they have shit on him and if he doesn't commute or pardon their sentences, they might squeal. (Allegedly.) Oh well, whatever it is, the pardoning power is like so cool, you guys.

Speaking of, we have yet another update from your new Republican boyfriend Miles Taylor, former Trump-appointed chief of staff at the Department of Homeland Security, who spilled even more beans last night in a new ad from Republican Voters Against Trump. It wasn't a shocking revelation, like the one about how Trump goes off on tangents in the Situation Room about how cool he thinks the My Pillow guy is, or how he gets distracted in meetings about WALL fantasizing about what kind of flesh-piercing spikes to put in top of it, or what kinds of alligators and snakes to put below it, in the moat, yes we said the moat.

In fact, it's something we just sort of figured was the case: Donald Trump totally orders people to commit crimes, and says don't worry, he'll pardon them if they get in trouble with the Deep State po-lice:

RVAT Miles v06 08 24www.youtube.com

The Independenttranscribed the key quotes. Surprise, it was about Trump's desire to keep brown people out of America. These are the brown people he wants to pierce the flesh of at the top of the border wall, not the five he in his mercy and grace selected as props for his naturalization campaign event last night:

"It was April of 2019. We were down at the border, and the president said to the senior leadership of the Homeland Security Department behind the scenes, we should not let anyone else into the United States," Mr Taylor says in the ad.

"And even though he had been told on repeated occasions that the way he wanted to do it was illegal", he says of the president, "his response was to say, 'Do it. If you get in trouble, I'll pardon you'."

"'I don't care. ... The bins are full,'" Mr Taylor claims the president told aides when they tried convincing him that he lacked the legal authority to shutter the southern border, claiming those were Mr Trump's "exact words".

Taylor added that people tried to explain to Trump that it was "against the law for us to simply deny anyone entry across the southern border, including people who were fleeing violence, persecution, danger. Under the law, they had the right to try to come in and try to seek refuge in the United States. He said 'I don't care.' His exact words were 'The bins are full.'"

Such a vile, sadistic, lawless piece of shit.

Taylor says in the ad that that was when he realized he had to quit the Trump administration.

As we told you yesterday, Taylor has a new Republican anti-Trump group called the Republican Political Alliance for Integrity and Reform (REPAIR), because of how he is all "I am a Republican," LOL whatever, dude. The funny and interesting part, though, is that it includes currently serving Trump administration officials who are breaking away. That is going to make Trump lose his everloving shit.

We would like to see their ads now please, Miles. Do it, Miles. You know you want to, Miles.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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