IT IS ALWAYS INDICTMENT O'CLOCK! Bob Mueller, PBUH, dropped another set of charges on Paul Manafort's ass at 4:30 yesterday. Hey, Pauly, in case you didn't get the message from Thursday's 32-count indictment, now's the time when you tell Uncle Bob everything you know!

Manafort concern trolling Rick Gates after he flipped yesterday was a nice touch.

Before we dive into the indictments, though, here's the backstory. In 2010, there was a power struggle in Ukraine between the pro-Western Fatherland Party, led by Yuliya Timoshenko,

and the pro-Russian Party of Regions, led by Putin figurehead Victor Yanukovych.

In 2011, Yanukovych seized power and threw Timoshenko in jail. But then he had an optics problem on his hands, so he summoned his favorite Western lobbyist and ratfucker Paul Manafort.

"Pauly," he said, "take $30 or $40 million of those billions we looted from the Ukrainian treasury and go tell the world that we are NOT a repressive dictatorship that unjustly jails our political opponents."

"Sure thing, Vik," Pauly replied. "I'll get right on it!"

So Manafort went back home and established The European Centre for a Modern Ukraine as a cutout company for Ukraine's influence operations. Then "the Centre" went out and hired lawfirms and lobbyists to sell the story of The Great Victor Yanukovych, vanquishing his evil nemesis Yuliya Timoshenko. Only there was no Centre -- there was just Manafort and Gates with their dozens of offshore bank accounts wiring money in and meeting with congressmen to try and persuade them to treat Yanukovych as the legitimate leader. And they paid "Company A," presumably either prestigious law firm Skadden Arps, which produced a report declaring Timoshenko a criminal who deserved to be jailed, or the Podesta Group, which lobbied for the Centre and that is enough for Sean Hannity.

Neither Manafort nor Gates registered as foreign agents or lobbyists while this was going on. They and the law firms working for them maintained the creative fiction that The Centre was the real client, at least on their federal filings. But everyone involved knew it was bullshit. Yanukovych was in charge, and Manafort was the middleman.

And Manafort, being a thorough guy, hired a group of former European political leaders to flog his pro-Yanukovych BS. Only they didn't want to look like they were bought, so they just went on television and wrote articles saying it was their personal opinion that Viktor Yanukovych was absolutely right to throw his political opponent in jail and deny her medical treatment. Nice, huh?

All the while, Manafort was wiring cash in from those offshore accounts. Making "loans" to himself -- as opposed to paying himself for services, which would require payment of taxes -- and making direct payments of tens of millions of dollars for clothes, rugs, and home improvements. He had to get creative with the real estate financing in 2014 when Yanukovych was overthrown and the Ukrainian money dried up, but that's the "story" of the last indictment.

The "story" of this indictment is Ukraine. It's about Manafort laundering Ukrainian money through offshore accounts, lying on his tax returns about the existence of those accounts, failing to register as a foreign agent of Ukraine, and lying to federal investigators about it.

And it's about MONEY. Specifically, all the money and property that Bob Mueller is going to seize from Paul Manafort on behalf of the United States Government.

So if Paul Manafort doesn't want to die in jail and leave his wife destitute, he needs to play ball with Bob Mueller.

And, oh by the way! To all the law firms and lobby shops that were happy to take Manafort's cash and pretend you didn't know where it came from, the FBI knows what you did. And they'll get around to you eventually.

Can't wait for next week!

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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