Fed Ex Saves Grateful Nation With COVID Vaccine Delivery, Coincidental $2.2 Million Donation To Trump

Trump
Video screenshot, KABC-TV

The COVID-19 vaccine has arrived! Hope is on the way, and FedEx is delivering.

The Washoe County Health District shared this charming advertisement for FedEx today. It's touching, inspiring even, but seriously, doesn't the US Postal Service have “trucks"? USPS also delivers to rural areas where COVID-19 cases are surging. The post office is the George Bailey of mail delivery. It never intended to make a profit. It's a public good. UPS and FedEx don't even bother building offices in remote rural areas because it's just not profitable, and these private companies, including Amazon, rely on rural postal carriers delivering their packages.


Let's reflect for a moment on Donald Trump's longstanding war against the post office and its many casualties. President Potter had it in for the USPS because he (wrongly) believed it was in the tank for Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, who's an actual billionaire and that makes Trump feel (rightly) inadequate.

But the one-term loser really got to work gutting the post office this year, when he installed his big donor, union-busting henchman Louis DeJoy as postmaster general. DeJoy busted the joint out with a series of “cutbacks" that saved money by simply not delivering mail anymore. They just let it all pile up, maybe even hid some letters in Lucy and Ethel's hats.

DeJoy also slashed hours during the busiest times of the day, which is not what you do if you're either competent or not actively sabotaging a public service. He even planned to close some post offices all together with little notice and in possible violation of federal law.

Most of this general skullfuckery was the first part of what Laurence H. Tribe, Jennifer Taub, and Joshua A. Geltzer described as Trump's "three-pronged attack" against a free and fair election. In his bid to remain in power forever, against the wishes of decent people, Trump attacked mail-in voting ... during a pandemic. No one quite knew the reason. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, his shoes were too tight. But the most likely reason I've seen was that he didn't want Black people voting free of exposure to COVID-19.

Fortunately, Trump is also the stupidest criminal you've ever met. He publicly boasted about his evil scheme and it wasn't like we were James Bond strapped securely in some fiendish deathtrap. We could still move about freely. Trump told Maria Bartiromo at Fox that he opposed a House coronavirus stimulus bill because it included funds that would help states expand their vote by mail efforts.

TRUMP: They want 25 billion dollars, billion, for the post office. Now they need that money in order to have the post office work, so it can take all of these millions and millions of ballots.

First place, the post office desperately needed funds so old people could receive their medicine and Social Security checks. It's also nice if people's fruit baskets aren't left to rot in mail-sorting hubs for rats to pick them apart (true story). But let's specifically address how the post office personally inconvenienced Trump by letting people vote.

TRUMP: Now, if we don't make a deal, that means they don't get the money, that means they can't have universal mail-in voting! They just can't have it.

That was his plan: Don't let people vote. He didn't succeed, thanks to the postal workers who wouldn't give up even if their “leadership" had given up on them.

"Most of our employees were very prideful," said Keith Combs, president of the APWU Detroit local. "They were really happy they were able to complete the mission with the ballots. They want the Post Office to be seen in a different light than the White House had been portraying it."

On election night, Trump demanded that the voting stop while he was still “ahead" like some petty dictator, but he failed to prevent the counting of mail-in ballots. So he had to watch as his illusory leads in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and remarkably Georgia faded away. I hope it hurt.

Captain America 283

And Trump did actively pressure state legislatures and election officials to call the election “failed" because of the “fraud" he invented, but they ultimately resisted and preserved the fragile democracy Trump was willing to shatter. As Captain America solemnly remarked after narrowly defeating a fascist, “America ... stands."

Unfortunately, the United States Postal Service remains hobbled, all because of one cruel and selfish man.

Of course, even if your regular mail is still late, they still could have pulled themselves together to make a few very special trips. It wouldn't even have had to pile up overnight! But then we don't think "post office" gave $2.2 million to Trump.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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