Hey Robert Mueller, Guess What? Trump's Doing Crimes In Public Again!

SHOCKING NEWS THAT IS SHOCKING! Donald Trump is obstructing justice right in front of our faces again! No, we don't mean on Twitter, but special counsel Robert Mueller islooking into his tweets. We mean more like what happened last year when he sat down with NBC News's Lester Holt and admitted he fired James Comey in order to obstruct justice in the "RUSH-UR" investigation, you know "this thing with TRUMP AND RUSH-UR." Boy howdy, that man sure does like to confess to the crimes he does all the time!

Yesterday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders came out to rough up the handmaids distract America from how Omarosa has ALL THE TAPES and Donald Trump probably calls black people the N-word all the time, by reading a statement from President Thin Skin that he is revoking former CIA director John Brennan's security clearance. Why? Because President Thin Skin doesn't have two balls to rub together and he can't stand it when men who are smarter, stronger and prettier than he is criticize him. The White House didn't even halfway try to justify Trump's decision. There was no suggestion Brennan had mishandled classified information or done anything that would call for such an action. Sanders did say, however, that Brennan goes on TV and says hysterical "partisan" things, especially things about it's pretty obvious Vladimir Putin owns Donald Trump, and we all know saying mean things about Dear Leader is against the First Amendment.

In short, right out the gate, this entire announcement was an obvious distraction -- the original Trump statement was dated three weeks ago, so basically they just had this sitting in a "fuck you" folder, ready to go as needed -- and a particularly pathetic example of Trump punishing people on his enemies list.

But it turns out it was more than that, and we know this because Trump confessed crimes to Wall Street Journal reporters last night, LIKE HE DOES.

Asked about the White House decision to yank Mr. Brennan's security clearance and to evaluate the clearances held by others, Mr. Trump said was prepared to do it last week, but it was too "hectic."

Mr. Trump, who was criticized for targeting for security clearance only people who served in Democratic administrations, said he "would put a Republican on, too, if I thought they were incompetent or crazy."

Shithead, you were on vacation last week. Too many hours of Fox News to watch, too little time? Too many golf balls to hit into the hole? Did the Secret Service ship in a bunch of pussy, for which to grab? What was it, lazy ass?

That's not the crime part. Here is the crime part:

"I call it the rigged witch hunt, [it] is a sham," Mr. Trump said in an interview. "And these people led it!"

He added: "So I think it's something that had to be done."

"These people" are the people on his enemies list, who have committed or are committing the crime of investigating just how many conspiracies the Trump campaign did with Russia to steal the election. So he thinks "something" had to be done, by which he means the revocation of Brennan's clearance. In other words, he's trying to send a message to the intelligence and law enforcement communities that if you investigate his many crimes, he'll pull a list of their crimes (completely made up of course) out of his sad orange butthole and PUNISH THEM.

Legal experts on TV are always saying the really hard thing about obstruction of justice is proving criminal intent. Not so with President Stable Genius! He just tells reporters where the bodies are buried and throws them a shovel!

It's worth noting here that the fact Trump is so terrified of John Brennan is a pretty good indication that Brennan really has Trump's number. Here is what Brennan tweeted immediately after Vladimir Putin deflowered Trump in Helsinki:

Yeah that's right, motherfuckers. John Brennan, THE GUY WHO WAS INTEGRAL TO OBAMA'S OPERATION TO KILL OSAMA BIN FUCKING LADEN, says Trump's actions with Putin were treasonous and that he's an imbecile. Is he just being hysterical and crazy like Trump and the Shuckster say, or should we goddamned listen to the man? Well, we love America, so we'll side with Brennan, as opposed to siding with the Russian intelligence asset.

If you want more words from John Brennan, read the op-ed he wrote in the New York Times today, about what Trump's petty, authoritarian actions against him mean, what Trump is so scared of, and the true state of affairs with the Russia investigation. Key grafs:

Mr. Trump's claims of no collusion are, in a word, hogwash.

The only questions that remain are whether the collusion that took place constituted criminally liable conspiracy, whether obstruction of justice occurred to cover up any collusion or conspiracy, and how many members of "Trump Incorporated" attempted to defraud the government by laundering and concealing the movement of money into their pockets. [...]

Mr. Trump clearly has become more desperate to protect himself and those close to him, which is why he made the politically motivated decision to revoke my security clearance in an attempt to scare into silence others who might dare to challenge him.

Or in the words of Philippe Reines, a longtime Hillary Clinton adviser:

He said it, not us.

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[Wall Street Journal / ibid./ New York Times]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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