Hey Wonkette, You Holding Any Cakes We Like?

Hey Wonkette, You Holding Any Cakes We Like?

First the good news! Since we started our WONK NATION SLUSH FUND GOFUNDME two (2) days ago, y'all have contributed, carry the one, thirty-two THOUSAND one hundred and fourteen dollars! And now the other good news! So far, we have put $16,650 in cash into the hands of 31 Wonkers and their families, in amounts ranging from $200 to $1250! Very few questions asked!

We don't ask for proof of bills. We don't ask for proof of wonkerdom (though we can tell if you haven't heard of us before, which is its own Ethical Dilemma; do I tell a homeless mom sorry because she's not in the club? Because that's what I've been doing so far and FUUUUUUUCK). You, our Wonkette community, tell us you need money, and how much, we give you money, hopefully how much you asked for plus a little bit more. Because it's important to have a treat.

Here are a few of the people we've helped so far today (and here's the list of people we helped Tuesday and yesterday):

  • A pal in DC can't teach life skills in person to his student with autism. He and his cute dog got rent plus food plus a little extra, for a treat. He sent us a picture, it was A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE, oh, how smiling he was! And the man wasn't bad either! Just kidding, I wasn't actually talking about the dog, I was talking about the nice happy handsome young man.
  • A friend in MN needed food for his wife's daycare, the only thing keeping them going right now. They got it!
  • A pal who may be British (?) has been doing the carework for and driving around his flatmate (see?) with brain cancer. He needed a car payment and insurance payment, plus food, plus a treat.
  • A Wonk lady's two daughters got sent home from college and they were almost out of food until she gets paid on Tuesday. They received food money and a little extra, and reports back that in offering her daughters the treat of their choice, they chose ice cream. So they are making brownies and having ice cream sundaes. Brownies and ice cream sundaes! What a marvelous TREAT!
  • A caterer living in his car needed car insurance, and food. He got some, plus a treat!
  • Several people needed car insurance. They got some, plus a treat!
  • Same with rent.
  • A little health insurance.
  • Some car repairs.
  • Lots of other things that sound kind of the same.
  • Nobody asked for a treat. Pretty much everyone got a treat.
I think I need to send that homeless mom like a hundred bucks, I'm pretty sure you guys don't mind?

So far our fund is still wonderfully healthy, and it is here for YOU. Please don't be shy about writing me at rebecca at wonkette dot com; let me know what amount would be helpful, and your Paypal if you've got one.

Now get funky with each other, it's your OPEN THREAD!

To contribute to the Wonkette Reader Help Slush Fund, click this link. To contribute to keeping Wonkette going forever, that's that widget below.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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