Hi There, Susan Collins! Let's Turn Your Sane Thoughts Into Concrete Action!
Do it for America, Susan!
Susan Collins, the august, thoughtful, nice and charming and wonderful and Good-At-Scrabble GOP senator from Maine, isn't she just the best? (Go with us here, we're making a point.) Collins has a nice long history of being a maverick! And she's not up for re-election until 2020, the year we send Donald Trump packin', assuming he hasn't been impeached or died of stairs by then. Let's remember also that Sen. Collins is VERY popular! We hear she gives the best advice, makes a mean casserole, and always is there when you need a friend and boy oh boy, when they give the next award for Republican Lady Senator From Maine Of The Year, we're going to nominate her, yes we are!
Republican Maine U.S. Sen. Susan Collins says she's not surprised that people turned out to protest President Donald Trump's executive order in droves over the weekend. [...]
"There should never, never be a religious test for refugee status and people practicing a particular religion should not be subject to a higher burden of proof than those who adhere to another religion," she said. "And I believe it's likely unconstitutional."
Sounds just right to us! She even knows that the Muslim Syrian refugees trying to come here are victims of Radical Islamic Terrorism, also too!
And there's more:
In addition to Trump's refugee order, Collins says what she's most upset about is his decision to restructure the principals committee of the National Security Council, the senior intra agency group that considers policies affecting national security. [...]
"[Steve] Bannon...does not have the expertise that the director of National Intelligence or the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff have and this is entirely inappropriate," Collins said.
And Bannon is an avowed Leninist who wants to literally destroy America, so there's that. And we all know he's the one really calling the shots in the White House anyway. Well, him and Vladimir Putin. It's not like "President" Trump is anything but thin-skinned and in over his head.
According to Maine Public Radio, Collins plans to respond to the President Bannon issue by ... writing an opinion column with Joe Lieberman. Which is ...
OK, that's nice, but ...
Sen. Collins, Wonkette has A Idea. WE THINK you could do way more to fight these things than just sitting down with that maundering asshole Joe Lieberman and playing Mad Libs. Why, you're the senior senator from Maine, and you are a member of the president's own party! And you HATE Trump. We feel like, instead of writing columns and meekly criticizing whatever the regime says, you could instead pal around with Joe Lieberman's buddies in the Senate, John McCain and Lindsey Graham, and the three of you could become WARRIORS and go down in history as the Three Republicans Who Voted With The Democrats During The Trump Disaster And Thus Saved America! You would be superheroes with AARP cards and little children would dress up as you for Halloween! (In a good way, like you are Ruth Bader Ginsburg, not a bad way, like you are a witch.)
Look, none of you have anything to lose. As we noted, you are not up for re-election until 2020, and what is Maine going to do, primary you from the right? Pffffft fuck that. Sen. McCain was just re-elected and is not running again, due to how he is so old his Werther's Originals smell like moth balls. Lindsey Graham these days is pretty much LONG HAIR DON'T CARE, NOW HOLD MY WHISKEY SOUR when it comes to "President" Trump.
And, Sen. Collins, when you get old (you are only 64, you spring chicken!), you can tell all your friends at the Old Lady Senators' Home about how the only reason America still exists is because YOU WERE BORN and decided to do the right thing when your country called on you.
So get up, Susan Collins, put your fightin' pants on, and go beat some ass, OK? You're already doing good -- nice job criticizing the White House's Holocaust statement! -- and Wonkette will be here with you every step of the way, WE PROMISE.
(Until you do something dumb, at which point we make saucy jokes about you and call you a dick, but come on, we're trying here.)
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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