Hillary Clinton Ads Just A Bunch Of Clips Of Donald Trump Schlonging Himself In The Mouth


Hillary Clinton just showed America how she's going to run against Donald Trump, and it's like WHOA. Is she going to act like a Republican and make up fake scandals that waste America's time, money and energy, like they do to her? Nah, that's boring, and completely unnecessary, as she already has two big advantages stuffed in the pockets of her pantsuit: Donald Trump's words, and the words of so many Republicans, about how he is terrible and bad and scary and a fucking sociopath and will NOT Make America Great Again, even if it says that on his hat.

Aunt Hillary released TWO ads on Wednesday, one for each of the bottles of hot sauce in her bag. In the first one, we have Trump's own words, on deporting Muslims and Mexico sending America its finest rapists. What's so great about this is that she's just giving him MORE publicity, and taking the gamble that while these things may be popular with the sausage-fingered yokels who support him already, normal Americans find them INSANE. (We think that is a good gamble!)

In the second ad, Hillary just scrapbooked together all these clips of Marco Rubio calling Trump a "con artist" and Mitt Romney calling him a "phony" and Jeb! Bush basically calling him a pussy. Sen. Lindsey Graham even makes an appearance and shakes his Gone With The Wind fan in Trump's general direction! None of those idiot Republican candidates could beat Trump in the primary, because they basically agreed with everything he said. But now that we're just about to general election season, their words are mighty powerful when it comes to showing America just how hated Trump is, even by members of his own party.

Notice how Hillz doesn't actually appear in either of the ads? She's like "Y'all know who I am already, let's talk about THAT muh'fucker."

Donald Trump is getting all excited about his big plans for running against Hillary, and how he's just going to schlong her DOWN, but we are very for curious how that is going to work. Is he going to yammer about how she emailed LOLs to Sidney Blumenthal about Benghazi while Whitewatering Huma Abedin in the love hole? America is so bored by that "scandal." And there aren't any new ones, because the Clintons have been dissected like fetal pigs for the last 30 years and everybody already knows everything they need to know.

Trump, on the other hand? Looks like Hillz is just gettin' started.

[Mother Jones]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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