Hillary Clinton Don't Give A Sh*t

Hillary Clinton, she's this lady, you might have heard of her. Former senator and secretary of state, might be prezzy maybe, puts off liberals by being all centrist, puts off conservatives by having a vaginaand a mouth at the same time.

Well, a couple weeks ago, some news broke that Clinton had her State Department emails on her own servers instead of servers at State. Far more troubling -- every SoS before her had his or her own email address instead of a State email -- was that her aides were the ones who went through her emails to determine what to send over to the State Department, for the posterity and such. Such a Clinton move! So untransparent! Gah! Stop that!

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Today, Clinton addressed a scrum of reporters at the United Nations, Picasso's Guernica nearby. Weird, but less weird than John Ashcroft covering Lady Justice's titty!

And ... Hillary Clinton was sort of ... perfect? I mean, not to be a gay guy or a racist old Kentucky lady, but strictly on style, I liked her? Have you ever seen Hillary Clinton be loose, and funny, and roll her eyes a little (in a perfect way) about this dumb bullshit she has to deal with because YOU PEOPLE are freaking CRAZY, but she's a professional so deal with it she will?

Look, here she is reminding people that the GOP Senate is just a spiderhole full of terrorists!

Wasn't that fun? It was! And here she is, Hillzsplaining why she used a private email:

First, someone prepped her to actually take responsibility for the decision to have her email on "one device" instead of two. In retrospect, that "convenience" was not convenient at all! But the end of the world? Not judging by how Hillary Clinton is LAUGHING AT YOU!


Second, can anyone blame Hillary Clinton for not wanting the world to see her yelling at Chelsea's wedding planner? Or how bad she was at yoga? NOPE. We all agree -- unless you're REALLY invested in this "scandal" -- that oh, yeah, that is a thing that is fine. Five thousand emails deleted?* Seems okay! Most of them were probably from Emily's List anyway.

(UPDATE: The above paragraph was incorrect; the Clinton team did not delete 5,000 emails but 30,000, which is much more problematic. You'd have to add in all the fundraising notes from the DCCC to those from Emily's List to get that high. We regret the error.)

Third, she came across as truthful. She just did. When she said she directed her staff to err on the side of anything possibly work-related being turned over to State, did you think she was lying? I didn't! (I still think State should have dug around in the wedding planning itself.)

Fourth, here is Fox's summation of the press conference, because of course it is. "Hillary Loses Her Nerve, Set To Scrum With Reporters." Well, that's one way of looking at it!

In conclusion, Hillary also said some communications were "from my husband and me" instead of "from my husband and I," so I am now an actual full-fledged Hillary fan, Hillary '16 and all that bullshit, YOU BETCHA.

Want the whole thing? Of course you do.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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