Hillary Clinton Either Evil Genius Or Drooling Idiot, Say Drooling Idiots On Fox News

This weekend a scaly, horrifying, rage-addled lizard rose from the depths of its subterranean lair and slithered onto screens all over the country, where it opened its jaw and shrieked high-pitched noises at terrified Americans as it stomped its way across the land, leaving destruction in its wake.

Yep, Dick Cheney was on Fox News Sunday again to talk about Hillary Clinton and BENGHAAAZI!!!11!! as if anyone on the planet should give a foamy crap about what Dick Cheney thinks about anything.

She was secretary of state at the time that it happened. She was one of the first in Washington to know about it. I think she clearly bears responsibility for whatever the State Department did or didn’t do with respect to that crisis.

I do think it’s a major issue. I don’t think we’ve heard the last of it yet, and I expect that she will be held accountable during the course of the campaign.

Aw, isn’t that cute, someone thinks he’s still relevant!

Anyway, if your vision has finished going white with rage and you’re still reading this, former Vice-President Dick Cheney, a man who lied this country into a war that resulted in hundreds of thousands of people dying or being maimed and traumatized for life, a man who endorsed torture of prisoners of that war in clear contravention of all legal precedent and the Geneva Convention, a man who has never shown one ounce of repentance for his repeated violations of the law and was nevertheless allowed to retire comfortably with a nice pension to his nice house in an upscale Virginia suburb with a nice soundproof basement where he can peacefully continue ritually slaughtering virgins and eating a stew seasoned with their internal organs in order to stay alive and maintain a human-like form, as commanded by Shub-Niggurath, the Goat With a Thousand Young, so that he can continue to appear on Sunday talk shows where dimwitted quisling sycophants like Chris Wallace will lob him softball questions while giving his demonic two-headed barbed cock a tug job under the table, thinks Hillary Clinton has not been held accountable, despite a dozen Congressional reports and thousands of hours of testimony that have pretty much apportioned the blame, for an embassy attack that killed four people and for which she has been dragged in front of Congress and roasted over an open spit by gibbering idiots playing to their wingnut base, who then went out and publicly roasted her some more on stupid shows like Fox News Sunday. 

The worst part is, we probably will hear this same line from a thousand other jackholes for the next two and a half years, at least.

Also, it was a Cheney two-fer as the Evil One’s draft deferment incubator Lynne popped in to explain how her ridiculous conspiracy theory -- that the Clintons got Vanity Fair to publish Monica Lewinsky’s recent essay about her affair with Bill in order to get the inevitable Monica questions out of the way before 2016 -- was actually a compliment to Team Billary for its foresight and political savvy in thinking that far ahead to defuse the issue.

Later on the same show Karl Rove stopped by to explain how earlier this week he wasn’t questioning Hillary’s health because she had a traumatic brain injury, but was just wondering if maybe Hillary should question her own health because of her traumatic brain injury. So now we are thoroughly confused as to whether Hillary is a Machiavellian political strategy genius or a loopy, permanently concussed idiot who should be confined to the chronic ward and spoon-fed Jell-O pudding for the rest of her life.

We do know that if even frigging Bill Kristol thinks Rove’s line of questioning is crazy and out of bounds, he should probably…actually, if Kristol is against it Rove should probably keep it up, it’s likely to work.

[ Raw Story ]