TELL US ABOUT YOUR REAL DAD, HILLARY.


You know, Barack Obama SAYS he is "leaving office" in "January 2017" (PFFFFFFFFFFT!), and that he is totally OK with not being president anymore and letting Hillz McEmails do Benghazi to the Oval Office. And we believe him, maybe! But we sure bet he's gonna be pissed the fuck off when he finds out that, on top of becoming the new president of America, Hillary ALSO gets to be the new PRESIDENT OF HELL, which he thought was his job. How are there term limits on that, is that even legal?

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/592287/obama-could-be-president-for-life-but-he-doesnt-want-to-or-does-he"></a>[/wonkbar]All of this news is comin' atcha from wingnut lady Jennifer LeClaire, writing at Charisma News, which is one of those Christian sites that's full of much charisma and many "news." The tone of LeClaire's piece is that she's JUST WONDERING MAYBE if Hillary is the Antichrist, probably because she doesn't have smoking gun proof yet. It's too bad the State Department won't release the email Hillary got from Satan telling her that she had been chosen by the demons of Hades to be the most beloved of all the Devil's earthly emissaries, but oh well. Guess things are only considered fucking "classified" when they're convenient for Hillary, HARUMPH.

Good lord, it is Friday, can we get to the point? Here is the headline:

Duh, she's the Antichrist, dipshit. Beyoncé is an Illuminati witch. Get it the fuck together, Jennifer.

Did you ever think there would come a day when someone would pose such queries about the former First Lady of the United States the former Secretary of State, and now the Democratic nominee for president of the free world?

I didn't.

But yet God chose you, Jennifer, to ask the question, and we are forever grateful. The fact that God is LOLing behind your back is irrelevant, for you are His special snowflake child.

Actually, though, Jennifer is not the only one asking the question. She is promoting a documentary that asks the same question! It is a very bad documentary:

If you don't have time to watch the video and receive the stunning wisdom contained therein, the reason Hillz is the Antichrist or maybe an Illuminati witch is because "emails," and also some other things we're sure are very frightening. We don't know, we got real bored in the first two minutes. When we skipped to the end, we discovered that Hillary likes to dance badly on the television because she's trying to trick The Blacks into liking her, so she can eat all the aborted babies, something something "Margaret Sanger," something something CONSPIRACY-GHAZI!!!11!1! This is very convincing, as we had always suspected sinister forces were possessing Hillary's pantsuit that time she did the Nae Nae.

Oh, sorry, are we being flippant and not all good at journalism, by skipping around in that dumbshit video above and refusing to take it seriously? The Devil probably made us do that too.

Jennifer LeClaire wasn't intending to ask if Hillz was the Antichrist or maybe the Illuminati, but now that she's seen that video ...

Why do so many people think Hillary Clinton is the Antichrist? Probably for the same reasons such chatter rises about Obama, the popes and Madonna. These are love-hate figures and people love controversy. Hillary does trouble me, especially with her séances, during which she talks to Eleanor Roosevelt.

What the ...

For the record, this is what the dingbat is referring to, but still ... WTF LOL crazy demon lady say what?

I don't believe Hillary is the Antichrist, but the fact that so many people are utterly convinced is telling.

Telling ... what? That there's a buncha idiots in America (some of whom are named "Jennifer LeClaire") who will believe anything you tell them, because they're brainwashed, hateful people? Big fuckin' whoop, lady.

Anyway, like we said, if this is all true, Obama is gonna be real pissed off, because he'll have to give Hillary his fake birth certificate and his special collection of Satanic seein' stones and probably all his coupon books, where all the coupons are only redeemable if the Devil is your dad. Obama LOVES those coupons.

[Charisma News via Right Wing Watch]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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