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Regrets doing this


Oh, Kids These Days. All these millennials are like "oh my god, Becky" about Hillary Clinton, except they don't get that reference because they weren't born yet and also they are stupid. But they're pretty sure they know Hillary and Donald Trump are JUST THE SAME, and they think that halfwit guy Gary Johnson, who loves private prisons and slashed funding for AIDS patients when he was governor of New Mexico, is the tits, because he supports their god-given right to get potted up on weed. Johnson is the natural choice for some of these former Bernie Sanders supporters, because he is literally the polar opposite of Sanders, who is campaigning for Hillary these days. READ A BOOK, MILLENNIALS.

Or watch Hillary Clinton on "Between Two Ferns With Zack Galifianakis"! It is that funny internet program where people sit between two ferns and answer wacky questions from Galifianakis, and the Kids These Days love it! Barry Bamz Obama went on the program one time, and it elicited many chortles from Kids These Days, unless they were all too cool to laugh at funny things that day, which they probably were. OH WELL. The rest of us mature folk who understand the stakes of this election and are also capable of experiencing happiness enjoyed it, just like we will now enjoy letting Hillz and Zack make us to laugh.

Galifianakis asks Clinton if she is excited to be the "first girl president," and she says yes, it is great, and then he says, for some of the REAL youngsters out there, she will be their first white president too! Is she excited about that? She just stares at him.

On the subject of the Trans-Pacific Partnership, Galifianakis asks if she is "down with TPP," and Clinton answers incorrectly by failing to say, "Yeah you know me," because she doesn't get the joke. See, Millennials? Hillary Clinton is just like you! She doesn't get the Naughty By Nature reference because she is an Old, and you don't get it because you weren't even an organic, free-range fetus when that song came out. Can't you all stop being such brats and just get along with her, for Christ's sake?

Also Galifianakis makes a joke about how Hillary told him backstage that she's going to take everybody's guns. At least that was probably a joke. She doesn't want to take everybody's guns and she didn't say that backstage. OR DID SHE?

Anyway, there are lots of jokes, about Michelle Obama writing Melania Trump's wedding vows and Ivanka Trump calling her best pal Chelsea Clinton to tell her BFF about the gross guys named "Dad" who have a crush on her, but we don't want to spoiler it all, so just WATCH THE DAMN VIDEO, OK?

Now that you are done enjoying the video, which made you LOL at least several times, please go visit the nice libertarians over at Reason to find out why this video is actually not funny at all and your laughing is invalid. Or you could gouge your eyes out with a wooden dildo, whichever sounds more fun to you.

[The Verge]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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