Hillary-Haters Making Hilarious Jokes, To Tickle Our Funnybones!
Hilarious Hillary float via the Daily Times Herald, which is fair use because this post is ABOUT THE PICTURE. Thanks Daily Times Herald!
Thank goodness for good, clean humor, that is what we always say at Wonkette. And in the midst of a stressful, contentious election season, we are grateful that there are some folks out there who really hate Hillary Clinton, and who are harnessing their hatred and doing something good with it, like making us slap our knees and pee our pants we are laughing so hard! Trust us, if you read the rest of this post, you will literally die of giggle-pissing your pants, probably.
Let's throw water balloons at Hillary, IN JAIL.
In Arcadia, Iowa, there was a big parade, probably because a cow got married, and so obviously one of the floats featured Hillary Clinton in jail, and the schoolchildren got to pelt her with water balloons, OMG SO FUNNY:
It was a typical summer celebration in small-town Iowa. The sun was shining on children carrying bags full of candy as the Arcadia Fire Department was celebrating its 100th anniversary on Saturday with a parade, a party in the park and a big water fight that would serve as the grand finale.
A young blond boy, no more than 8 years old, ran out into the street near the intersection of West Center and South Gault streets because one float was handing out water balloons. The child grabbed his balloon, took aim and did his best Nolan Ryan impression as he fired the balloon at a man dressed in an orange jumpsuit and Hillary Clinton mask while standing on a platform inside bars, fencing and barbed wire above a “Hillary For Prison” sign tacked onto the side.
The prideful smile of a job well done was written all over the boy’s face.
OK fine, the parade was for the fire department, not a celebration of cow nuptials, OUR BAD. But anyway, awwwww, that kid must be so proud of himself, for throwing the balloon at the mean lady Hillary. We bet his parents are top notch!
The guys who built the float are pretty pleased with themselves, for being hilarious and brilliant:
“It was my idea,” Kyle Julin of Manilla said. “Pretty much me and Josh (Reetz). It took us about a day-and-a-half to build." [...]
“Even the police and everybody was positive about it, especially on social media,” he said. “We couldn’t get pictures with some people because of where they work and their political agendas. But, only one group booed us. My consensus from that was 99 percent to 1 percent liked it.”
Ooh, Iowa math! It's like regular math, but instead of following normal rules, you just make shit up. One of the alleged one percent who didn't like the float was Tim Tracy, chair of the Carroll County Democrats, who made a salient point about grown-ups using kids to further their dumbass political agendas:
“We saw a lot of children along the parade route. Children aren’t politically savvy. It’s sad to imagine that some of them may have been wondering why they were being mean to that lady and throwing things at her.”
Another woman, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of repercussions at work, said the whole thing just made her feel sad.
“I’m glad my grandkids weren’t there to see it,” she said. “Here we have what could be the first woman president in our history — and to treat her like that — I thought was disrespectful to her and disrespectful to women.”
Oh well, no harm, no foul, because that float is TOO HILARIOUS to be mad about.
Let's make funny pictures of Hillary, FOR KILLING.
Hey, this is creative and not at all just like the last thing!
Two tweets from the official Twitter account for the Riverside County Republican Party featured illustrations of a hangman holding a noose with the words, “I’m Ready for Hillary" [...]
The portrait of the masked hangman features gallows with two other empty nooses in the background. The hangman wears an axe at this side and blood is visible on his shirt and apron.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA HA! LOL! The chairman of the Riverside County GOP, a feller named Scott Mann, had this to say:
“That meme is nothing more than political satire. It simply expresses how Ms. Clinton seemingly has gotten away with every scandal and political flip-flop in her public life – from classified e-mail and Benghazi to her changing positions on health care, TPP, NAFTA, gay marriage, etc.”
“We will extend benefit of the doubt if even one person was genuinely offended and remove the tweet. Beyond that, we trust the discernment of citizens to view it for what it is – political satire.”
We guess people were "genuinely offended" and incapable of understanding the high art of political satire, because Mann ended up having to email another statement several hours later, saying he was suddenly "horrified" by the tweets, and that "While some may think it was political satire, it clearly has no place in American political dialogue." We guess he was referring to himself several hours before when he said "some" might think it was satire. What A Idiot Scott Mann used to be, earlier that day!
The point of these stories is that they are the funniest things we have ever seen, and boy howdy, Republicans sure are good at ticklin' yr Wonket's funnybone, yep yep yep, #JOKES!