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Hipsters Complain They Were For Marriage Equality Before Wisconsin Hopped On Bandwagon

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Actual Dialogue from Wonket Sekrit Chatcave, 4:35 pm, EDT:


Dok Z: We should try to find something happy to round out the day

Sara B: I'm writing things on Patton as we speaketh

Dok Z: and maybe another state will legalize gay marriage in the next 15 minutes

Rebecca S: haha

So then just after 5:00, we heard on the teevee that Wisconsin Went and Did It. Yr. Dok Zoom was off by ten minutes or so, but plans to purchase himself a Lotto ticket this evening anyway.

This is our Lastpost for the day, and so we will very very lazily blog this like we were the Stupidest Man on the Internet, and just copypasta the first three grafs of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel story:

U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb in Madison Friday overturned Wisconsin's gay marriage ban, striking down an amendment to the state constitution approved overwhelmingly by voters in 2006.

Crabb did not stay her ruling but also did not immediately issue an order blocking the enforcement of the order, leaving it for the moment unclear whether couples could immediately marry in the courthouses of Wisconsin.

Instead, Crabb asked the gay couples who had sued over the ban to describe by June 16 exactly what they wanted the judge to block with respect to the enforcement of the law. She said she would then address whether to stay her decision while the matter is on appeal.

If it turns out that marriages can commence, the Dane County Clerk, Scott McDonell, said that his office was "ready to go" in issuing marriage licenses.

The sad pandas of Wisconsin Family Action, bespokespersoned by one Julaine Appling, cried a bit and sniffled, "I don't understand when 'We the People' became 'I the Judge[.]'" As has become something of a pattern in these stories, it should be noted that a vengeful Jehovah did not hurl any lighting bolts at the courthouse or suddenly afflict the greater Madison area with plagues of boils, frogs, or Minnesota Vikings fans.

Happy equality, Wisconsin, and happy weekend, O Ye Wonkers.

[Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He hopes you will all satisfy values through friendship and ponies.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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What did we say this morning? Something about how "They want a war with Iran," and "Please do not listen to news reports about Trump telling his people to cool their jets with the Iran talk, because they want a war with Iran, and all they are looking for is their trigger"?

News came out early this morning that Iran shot down a US drone in the Strait of Hormuz, outside Iranian waters. Let's see what our president and his war-bonering GOP shitmouths in Congress have had to say about that:

Great. Just great. So what's happening now?

Awesome. Just splendid. Trump is having a cuddle party today with John Bolton (who's had a hard-on to bomb Iran since the Bush administration); Mike Pompeo (who's been making the rounds lying and saying Iran and al Qaeda are best friends, thus implying that it's very legal and very cool for Trump to strike Iran without congressional authorization, based on the Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) Congress voted for five days after 9/11); and Patrick Shanahan, the outgoing acting Defense secretary, who will make way for another acting Defense secretary, because who needs real Defense secretaries? (The new guy, Mark Esper, is part of the meeting too.) And as Senator Schatz points out above, Trump is emotionally unstable and doesn't know dick about foreign policy, so it's just great that he's having an emergency meeting with these unhinged hawks about this right now.

Tell us what this all means, unhinged hawk Lindsey Graham!

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