Hispanic ¡Jeb! Bush Says Donald Trump Wrong About His People Being Drug-Criming Rapists
Jeb! Bush is mildly displeased with Donald Trump. Or rather, ¡Jeb! Bush està ligeramente disgustado over Donald Trump's contention that Mexican immigrants are rapists and drug crimers. Nicest drug-criming rapists you'll ever meet, though! As a completely legit Hispanic Mexican immigrant from the "Tanglewood" section of
Houston Mexico City, it stands to reason that ¡Jeb! would eventually be outraged, two weeks later, in Spanish:
Still shaking his head in pique, he then led reporters back to the room they'd just been in and took a handful of questions, beginning with one in Spanish about Donald Trump's recent comments describing Mexican immigrants as rapists, murderers and drug dealers. Trump spends his life fighting with people, Bush answered in Spanish. And he doesn't, Bush said, represent the values of the Republican Party.
Trump es muy loco, if you know what we mean, hombres. Of course, ¡Jeb! was considerably less upset when he was forced to answer the question in English, because sometimes foreigns get tongue-tied expressing emotions like anger and lust in their second languages:
But when Bush was asked the same question about Trump's remarks in English, he seemed put out at having to repeat himself, then gave a milder version of his original answer: "I don't agree with him. I think he's wrong. It's pretty simple."
Nothing about WHY he is wrong? Nothing like, "Hey, my wife Columba, who is actually a Mexican immigrant, is not a drug-criming rapist and I WILL DEFEND MY WIFE'S HONOR against pompous assholes who drunk rage on Twitter like 13-year-old girls." Nah, just "Trump is wrong, I am Jeb! Bush, I am A Idiot, and I am kind of sad like Eeyore about having to talk about this in the first place."
But then he hugged a Hispanic, so it was all okay:
"Come here and give me a hug," he said to a Latino man who said he'd just switched his registration from Democratic to Republican.
Having hugged the Hispanic wingnut and answered all the preguntas difíciles required from him, he muttered "ay yi yi," relieved that at least the mean townhall-goers and journalists gathered hadn't asked him anything about Iraq.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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