Hobos, Come Here To Sell Your Sad Cans Of Hobo Beans, Find Everlasting Love
What's this, what's this? Are we starting up Wonkette Classifieds? Indeed we are, Poors, and at just the right hobo price: FREE. You could sell a boat! Or barter some moon rocks! Or pen a plaintive missive seeking love from likeminded jerk-offs! But why are we doing this when it will not make us any muneez? That is an excellent question that we will figure out later! Mostly because we love you, idiots, whatever, we guess.
You'll want to make a fake Gmail address or something, as these will be very PRIMITIVE and will not come with mailboxes. Your Editrix will approve them before they post, so don't try to sell your children into sex slavery please. This is not the Village Voice. Also, your Editrix has a very low tolerance for shitty scams, so, you know, don't do that.
By the way, since we've got you here, have you been putting in your hours in Wonkville, the Wonkette story mines? Look, it's right over there --- > . Have you signed up for our newsletter? It's right over there too! Have you been clicking on that tiny Amazon logo at the bottom of the Amazon box? If you are going to shop at Amazon and put a mom and pop store out of business, shouldn't you divert a chunk of Amazon's filthy lucre to a mom (no pop) website? YES YOU SHOULD.
Also too to watch for, coming soon: a Wonkette store, filled with fabulous items. Oh, what a glorious day it shall be!
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.