Hot Nevada Ass-Kicking Chick Will Help Bundys Murder Federal Government. Again.
It's Wingnut Reunion time! Welfare Rancher Cliven Bundy's family and their biggest fan in the Nevada Assembly, Michele "Guns Solve Everything" Fiore, are teaming up in support of a stupid bill that Fiore has introduced, for FREEDOM. You see, since the Tyrants in Washington kept persecuting poor ol' Cliven for grazing his cattle on land that the feds claim they own, Fiore and 14 other Republican Constitutional scholars in the Nevada Assembly will solve that problem by just plain banning the federal government from owning land in the Great State of Nevada.
And so on March 31, we can all look forward to the circus coming to Carson City, as Bundy supporters flood into the state Assembly to show their support for kicking the feds off all the land that rightly belongs to the People of Nevada. Can't see the feds making much of a fuss over that, as the federal government only owns a measly 85 percent of the land in the state.
As veteran Nevada journalist Jon Ralston -- you may recognize him from cable news last year as the sane person shaking his head in wonderment at the Bundy shenanigans -- reports in his blog, Cliven's son Ammon (was he named after ammo or Mammon?) has sent out an email blast urging all Bundy supporters to make their way to the state capital to show their love for Fiore's bill. After thanking supporters "for your patients [sic] with us as we stick together," Bundy the Younger gets to the nitty:
With all of your efforts the impossible is happening. The Nevadan's Resource Rights Bill (NRR) has been given a bill number (AB408) and will go before the Resource Committee on March 31st. This is a tremendous accomplishment, one that could not have been achieved without your actions. We started out thinking that if a group of people would act together in unity we could make a real difference. So far each of you have proven this to be correct. THANK YOU!
- Go this link to show support for the bill, https://www.leg.state.nv.us/App/Opinions/78th2015/A/ select bill number AB408, select FOR, and put in your name and address. This is the official website for the Nevada Legislature and legislators use it to determine public support. If you are a citizen of Nevada it is a bonus, but it does not matter where you live, we need the support of all the States around us including those out east. Please click on the link and fill in the form to show your support for the bill.
- Show up in Carson City, March 31st at 9 am. Over 15 Nevada State Legislators sponsored the NRR bill and have asked that we fill the house during the committee hearing. We must show up in person and make our presents known. [sic] If we fill the house, the committee will pass it and the talk of the 2015 session will be the NRR bill (AB408). With enough of your physical support in Carson City the committee will pass the NRR bill and it will have a substantial chance of becoming Nevada law soon after. Plan on making the trip. I will get you more details in a few days.
We would just like to warn Mr. Bundy and his supporters that if they show up with presents, they may be subject to arrest for trying to bribe lawmakers. Then again, it is Nevada. Bundy also doesn't mention whether supporters should show up packing heat. We're not sure if that's just a matter of caution, or if it just goes without saying that Bundy fans never go anywhere without their trusty Webley-Vickers 50.80 semiautomatic shootin' irons.
Bundy's email suggests that with enough support, the law will surely pass; we took a look at the text of AB408, and while Yr Doktor Zoom is not a lawyer, we have to say that a glance at the first page set off our States' Rights Bullshit Detector -- the law depends on what strikes us as a highly imaginative reading of the Constitution:
The United States Constitution authorizes the Federal Government to exercise authority over land purchased by consent of the legislature of the state in which the land lies for the erection of forts, magazines, arsenals, dockyards and other needful buildings. (U.S. Const. Art. I, § 8, cl. 17)
With that in mind, the bill proposes that unless the feds are actually using any Bureau of Land Management land for forts and arsenals and dockyards in Nevada, they jolly well need to turn the land over to the state, which will then go about selling grazing, logging, and mineral rights while the BLM just quietly turns to dust. Piece of cake! We're sort of hoping the stupid thing passes, if only to see how hard a federal judge laughs while striking it down.
In any case, keep your eyes open next Tuesday; we bet the loon parade invading Carson City will put on one hell of a show. We also want to caution Wonkette readers that it would be very inappropriate to use a fake name and Las Vegas address -- perhaps that of a casino or a shooting range -- at the link Mr. Bundy provided to comment on this fine bill. Really, that would be wrong.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.