How Long Until New Fox Weather Channel Blames Hurricanes On Critical Race Theory?

Here's an interesting bit of news for you. Fox News, or rather its parent company, is getting into the weather space. That's right, if you like watching the weather forecast all day long (you are obviously 86), but you're concerned it's just too factual, Rupert Murdoch's TV conglomerate emporium outfit gotcha covered.

We kid Murdoch, of course! Maybe his weather channel will be 100 percent facts all the time. It's not like they can tell Trump supporters it's raining when it's just a bunch of Fox anchors pissing on their legs, haha just kidding yes they can.

Will Donald Trump be on hand to draw dicks on weather maps? Because that guy is both unemployed also draws a mean weather map dick.

So it's going to be called Fox Weather, and of course it will presumably be a big competitor to the Weather Channel. Which means there are weather wars now:

Not to be outdone, the Weather Channel — granddaddy of television meteorology — announced the creation of a new streaming service, Weather Channel Plus, that the company believes could reach 30 million subscribers by 2026.


And of course, on top of weather wars, the weather nerds are YA BURNT-ing each other:

The Weather Channel is already throwing some shade.

"They couldn't even get a headline right about Tropical Storm Bill," said Nora Zimmett, the network's chief content officer, referring to a article that some meteorologistscriticized because it claimed that a relatively benign storm posed a "massive" risk to the Eastern Seaboard.

"I applaud Fox getting into the weather space, but they should certainly leave the lifesaving information to the experts," said Ms. Zimmett, who worked at Fox News in the 2000s.

Zimmett also noted that if Fox Weather starts just lyingfuckinglying about climate change, then that's going to be a problem. (Oh, you think Fox Weather wouldn't? Are you new here?) The Times article is full of quotes from industry insiders who say that with the climate officially probably passing the point of no return and killing every living thing sometime soon, "climate change" is going to be a big part of weather coverage.

Look, we have a lot of questions, but obviously one is more important than all the rest: Have Fox execs really figured out how to blame bad weather on critical race theory yet? What about antifa? Because you really need to have a plan for that.

Will they blame hurricanes and tornaders on how many transgender school athletes exist in local schools?

Will they even cover Thunderpenis in the Heartland, the way highly respected weather forecasting website "Wonkette" does?

And will Fox Weather's coverage of the weather be anything like Fox News's previous coverage of the weather and the climate, and will their meteorologists be aware that those are two different things?

One time in 2015, Kimberly Guilfoyle, back when she was at Fox News, before she started having sexual intercourse with Donald Trump Jr. on purpose, was making fun of Barack Obama visiting the Arctic Circle to shine a spotlight on climate change, and she said, and we quote, "He should work for the Weather Channel," and also "He's, like, obsessed with cumulus clouds."

If it's anything like that, well, let's just be honest, Wonkette is going to watch this damn channel every day.


[New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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