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How big is Putin's peener? THIS BIG.


Donald Trump is stepping in Russian shit and eating it off the bottom of his shoe again! After he gleefully reported this weekend that he had snuggled with his real dad Vladimir Putin in Asia, who told him yet again that Russia didn't do the meddling, he added:

I mean, give me a break, they are political hacks. So you look at it, I mean, you have [former CIA director John] Brennan, you have [former DNI James] Clapper and you have [former FBI director James] Comey. Comey is proven now to be a liar and he is proven now to be a leaker. So you look at that and you have President Putin very strongly, vehemently says he had nothing to do with them.

See? Putin, whom Trump loves because A) he has perky strongman nekkid nipples, B) he has some REALLY DISGUSTING kompromat on Trump, or C) both, says he didn't do it. Whereas James Clapper and John Brennan, two of the most consummate professionals and experts from the entire world of American intelligence, are dumb hacks, and Comey is the LEAKER-IN-CHIEF (because he gave his friend unclassified portions of his own memos to leak to the New York Times after Trump fired him for investigating Russian interference in our election). As we asked this weekend, who you gonna believe? The Russian KGB despot, or these fucking loser American patriots over here?

The Trump administration has done various versions of trying to clean up Trump's latest diarrhea monsoon, and all of them have been lame. But Clapper and Brennan went on the TV on Sunday, and surprise, both of them had some shit to say!

The Washington Post collected some quotes from their appearances on CNN's "Face The Nation" Sunday.

Brennan!

“I think it demonstrates to Mr. Putin that Donald Trump can be played by foreign leaders who are going to appeal to his ego and try to play upon his insecurities, which is very, very worrisome from a national security standpoint.”

Clapper!

“He seems very susceptible to rolling out the red carpet and honor guards and all the trappings and pomp and circumstance that come with the office, and I think that appeals to him, and I think it plays to his insecurities,” Clapper said.

The operative word here is "played."

In his earlier remarks to reporters, Trump also referred to Brennan and Clapper as “political hacks.” Brennan said Sunday that he considers Trump’s characterization “a badge of honor.”

Yeah, it's pretty safe to say that if Donald Trump thinks you're a hack, you are probably literally the best in your entire field, far surpassing all the wannabe whiny ass titty baby Dunning-Kruger syndrome people like Trump.

WaPo also quotes Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, whose very punchable face was asked to comment on the statements from Clapper and Brennan, and this is what he said:

“Those were the most ridiculous statements,” Mnuchin said. “President Trump is not getting played by anybody.” [...]

“I think the country is ready to move on off of this and focus on important issues,” he said.

That's right. Let's ignore whether America's oldest enemy is literally inside the White House, subverting our sovereignty and taking a giant Russian shit all over our democracy, and move on to the things Mnuchin thinks are important, which are ... what? Repealing the estate tax so Steven Mnuchin's dead carcass doesn't have to pay it when he dies? Helping his asshole wife do Instagram challenges to see how many different couture brands she can wear while jetting around America on the taxpayer dime? What is more important, please?

And as to Mnuchin's expert opinion that "Trump is not getting played by anybody," go fuck yourself, you slobbering dickspittle, as it is obvious to anyone who is currently awake that Putin plays Trump like the G-string on a fiddle.

By the way, Clapper and Brennan aren't the only ones who have responded to the orange dipshit's comments. Look what James Comey said on his newly verified Twitter account:

He added:

LOL that's right, not only is Comey the LEAKER-IN-CHIEF, he is also the SUBTWEETER-IN-CHIEF. And he will use BIBLE as his weapon!

Precious lord, give Robert Mueller strength, that he may get Trump and his merry band of compromised motherfuckers out of here before they burn the entire place down and give Putin the ashes for his birthday.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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