Right back atcha, champ.

For the past 10 months, since Forever President Obama nominated a centrist jurist, Merrick Garland, that even Orrin Hatch called a pick with whom no one could have a problem, Republican leaders have been perfectly happy to have an eight-member Supreme Court. Sure, an awful lot of decisions ended in a tie -- meaning if an appeal came up through a liberal circuit court, the liberal circuit court's decision remained in effect, and vice versa. The Supreme Court also declined to hear a lot of cases. Hey, whatcha gonna do.

Yesterday, in a profile of "President" Donald Trump's presumptive (and now official) SCOTUS nominee, Neil Gorsuch, Bloomberg explained that a Gorsuch pick would "restore the ideological balance that existed" before Antonin Scalia choked to death on his own pillow. Hmmm, question in the back, Bloomberg! Why is a 5-4 conservative/liberal court "ideologically balanced"? Wouldn't a 4/5 conservative/liberal be "ideologically balanced" too? Especially with ... let's just pick a number out of the air ... three million more people voting for the person who wouldn't have nominated Gorsuch because she's not a fucking asshole?

It's a real puzzler.

Then Bloomberg wrote this

Gorsuch is a champion of religious liberty known for his crisp, occasionally pointed writing style

and we just started yelling and cussing and that was the end of us reading that Bloomberg article.

"Scalia's seat belongs to us" is one of those alternative facts Republicans like to mewl about. "Scalia's seat" belonged to the American people, who chose Barack Obama -- by wide, wide margins -- to fill it.

The Senate GOP had other plans -- and Mitch McConnell LITERALLY said yesterday that Democrats should be as congenial to a Trump nominee as the Republicans were to Democratic nominees. Of course, he wasn't talking about Merrick Garland, because he's an obfuscating piece of shit.

Donald Trump could have played "modest" and "conciliatory" and "president of everyone not just the fucking Federalist Society" -- considering he "won" election by 80,000 votes in three states while losing the popular vote by millions -- and presented someone who didn't explain in the Hobby Lobby decision that "religious liberty" meant the liberty to choose on behalf of your employees what religion they'd be following, at least as far as the slut pills they were permitted to stick in their mouths.

"Religious liberty" my fucking ass.

Where were we?

The Supreme Court functioned -- sort of -- for the past year with only eight members. And if Democrats know what's good for them, as far as the WAKENED FUCKING GIANT OF PEOPLE IN THE STREETS, they'll decide the Supreme Court can function that way until January of 2021, when President Pretty Lady From California (I'm not talking about Dianne Feinstein) nominates someone nice. Someone sober, thoughtful, decent, and pretty fucking centrist.

You gonna cave, Dems? You gonna say "well, let's save the filibuster for when we really need it"? NO. WE NEED IT NOW. We're no purity police, but this is one of those votes, like Obamacare, like payday-fucking-lending, where YOU DIE ON THAT HILL, because there's no "other day" left to live and fight for.

Barack Obama or Get The Fuck Out.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

Donate with CC
Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.

In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

Yr Wonkette is entirely supported by donations from you, the reader. Please send us money so socialists won't make us take the stairs.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.


5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc