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There was another Donald Trump corona-lie-presser late yesterday, but we don't care. We hear Dr. Fauci wasn't there, that Trump pretended to be concerned about racism directed toward Asian-Americans even though he's the one encouraging it, and that a miracle happened: Networks cut away from covering it live, because he was finally too long-winded and full of shit for them.

Maybe the media is starting to figure out that these daily pressers are his substitute for the Hitler rallies he isn't allowed to do right now. And maybe they're starting to figure out that, due to Trump's constant lies, freelancing, and cold making-shit-up, they not only give people false hope (the auto industry is building ventilators!) but they are also a public health risk. (Eat chloroquine! Can't kill you!)

NBC News reported that an older couple in Arizona — who sound like any older couple who watches Fox News and thinks Donald Trump isn't only and always lying to them — heard Trump saying the anti-malaria drug chloroquine would probably cure coronavirus, he was just pretty sure of it. And they looked at each other and thought, "Chloroquine? Isn't that the thing we used to give the koi fish?" And they took the thing they give the koi fish, because they didn't want to get sick and die of novel coronavirus.


"I saw it sitting on the back shelf and thought, 'Hey, isn't that the stuff they're talking about on TV?'"

The husband, 68, is now dead.

The wife, 61, was originally in critical condition, but she's doing better, and the New York Times reports she's expected to get all the way better.

The fish tank medicine reportedly took effect quickly — within 20 minutes they were "dizzy and hot." The husband died soon after the paramedics got him to the hospital.

Trump has said chloroquine may be a "game changer" for treating coronavirus. He certainly changed the game for this Maricopa County couple.

The woman, interviewed from the ICU, told NBC News she really wants you to stop making the mistake they made, which was listening to a goddamned word that comes out of Donald Trump's mouth.

"Trump kept saying it was basically pretty much a cure." [...]

"Oh my God. Don't take anything. Don't believe anything. Don't believe anything that the President says & his people...call your doctor."

Don't believe anything he says. Nothing.

NBC's Vaughn Hillyard clarified that she did hear Trump say the FDA hadn't approved chloroquine for COVID-19 treatment, and she did hear that. But she also heard him say it had been approved for all these other things, therefore it was safe.

"Yeah," she said. "But, you know, they kept saying that it was approved for other things." [...]

"Please educate the people," she added, according to audio of the conversation that Hillyard posted to Twitter. "It feels like, like my heart is broken and it'll never mend. It's just broke, dead. Like my husband. My husband is 68. We're healthy. No underlying — no diabetes or lung issues. Nothing."

Now, to be clear, what they took wasn't exactly what Trump was talking about. This was chloroquine phosphate specifically created as an ingredient for a "parasite treatment for fish," according to NBC News, so we guess it's for "fish diarrhea" or "algae" or something. (The Times reports that "on eBay, prices for the additive have spiked during the coronavirus pandemic." Awesome.) That is different from the chloroquine phosphate described in this CDC fact-sheet, which is formulated for humans as an anti-malaria preventative. But the way Trump rambles, we understand it could be hard to tell. And it wouldn't be the first time something you find in a veterinary/pet store setting also had a use for humans. Hell, ask horse people. There's all kinda shit you can get at the feed store that would require a prescription for human beings.

As we've noted, Trump has been touting the effects of chloroquine to treat coronavirus like they're Alex Jones's magic boner bills, by which we mean the FDA hasn't approved it, and its effects haven't been proven or peer-reviewed. There might be hope for it! But Dr. Anthony Fauci isn't willing to swallow it yet, therefore neither should you be.

Here, an expert:

Oh FIDDLESTICKS, that wasn't an expert, that was Rudy Giuliani, who also says it's FIIIIIIINE. He's taken it! Of course, the only proper response to Rudy Giuliani taking anti-malarial preventative medicine is to ask what countries he was doing crime in that necessitated him taking an anti-malarial. He's does get around so much! Oh well, guess we'll just file that one in our Wondering Box of Things We Wonder!

Here, a real expert:

Dr. Daniel Brooks, medical director of Banner Poison and Drug Information Center, said in a statement: "Given the uncertainty around COVID-19, we understand that people are trying to find new ways to prevent or treat this virus, but self-medicating is not the way to do so."

NBC News notes that all the way over in Nigeria, the local CDC is telling people not to dose on chloroquine — the real thing, not the fish tank additive — because it's poisoned two people already. Turns out chloroquine is one of those drugs that if you don't get the dosing just right ...

Point is, thanks, Donald Trump! You've convinced a couple in Arizona to take medicine you give your fish tank when the fish inside have the fish shits, and in Nigeria, people are dead. Any other quack cures you'd like to tell us, or could you just resign before more people die because of your words and deeds?

Speaking of Trump's words and deeds, we discussed yesterday how Trump is just getting booooooored during this coronavirus lockdown, and he's pivoting from listening to the public health experts to instead listening to fucking morons telling him we should reopen everything very soon, long before America's coronavirus epidemic hits its peak, to get his beautiful economy going again. He suggested as much during yesterday's presser, because his "We've Only Got Four Minutes 15 Days To Save The World" plan for fighting coronavirus was always just a marketing gimmick. Reopening society too early, to be clear, would likely kill untold numbers of people.

And, because the GOP is little more than a death cult, the message is now getting out there, sent by the likes of Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, that the olds probably wouldn't/shouldn't even mind dying en masse of coronavirus, if it meant that Trump's economy would be beautiful for their grandchildren.

That's where we are, and the message is coming from the top. Right on cue, an hour ago:

We're not joking, and we realize it's a fucked up thing for us to be suggesting that in the midst of a global pandemic, the media shouldn't play the words of the president of the United States, at least without constant factchecking.

But nobody ever imagined a president as dishonest and fucked up as Donald Trump.

Cut his fucking mic.

[NBC News / Business Insider / New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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