How Many Saviors Must Die For The Sins Of Evil Ted Cruz?
Behold the Cruzifixion
The fun thing about watching Republicans beat each other to death with their fists and their "brains" and whatever other blunt instruments are handy is that you don't even have to pick a side, because you hope they all lose.
[contextly_sidebar id="XQ0svvKhobDwM3XGijlWqfXZqwXRwjrt"]Take, for example, the latest hair-pulling slap-fight between Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz. Team Cruz said Marco Rubio hates the Bible, but Team Rubio said NUH UH, Team Cruz, you are liars! And then Team Cruz said, "Oh yeah, our bad, we are total liars, oops," and then Ted Cruz fired a guy, for making Ted Cruz look like a ginormous dick, as if he needs help with that. So ex-Cruz staffer Rick Tyler is out of a job, just for tweeting a mean and utterly false thing about Marco Rubio boo hoo, and Marco Rubio is still in not first place. Fun giggle times all around!
Or, if you are Morning Drama Queen Joe Scarborough, it's just like that time Pontius Pilate ordered Jesus Christ to die on the cross:
“It seems to me that if Jesus died for our sins, then Rick Tyler died for the sins of many in the Cruz campaign,” Scarborough opined. “He was thrown overboard for retweeting something, which he then took down, which he then apologized for. And yet, then Ted Cruz threw him under the bus, a guy that has been respected and a guy that was the heart of this campaign for a very long time. It seems like a sacrificial lamb at the very least.”
Marvel at that infallible logic, would ya? If Jesus died for our sins (cc: PolitiFact), then ditto Rick Tyler, who is dead now because Ted Cruz drowned him with a bus and ate him for dinner with some mint jelly. Not that we are rooting for poor dead Rick Tyler, mind you; as we said before, we are but mere chuckling observers of this civil war. And let's face it, the guy who was, until half a second ago, Cruz's communication director, was probably a real jerk-nozzle anyway.
Still, as Scarborough notes, there have been so very many terrible dirty tricks by the Cruz campaign, why is Tyler's the only blood that must spill? What about that time Team Cruz told all of Iowa Ben Carson had already dropped out, so might as well vote for Cruz? What about all those terrible and very ethically questionable Cruz mailers? What about Ted Cruz being Ted Cruz? Who will die for that?!
Joe Scarborough, who is a decent and reasonable human person, and definitely not trying to clear the Republican field for Donald Trump because he wants to be Trump's VP (hint hint, wink wink, fingers crossed, he's waiting by the phone, Donald!), is simply and objectively and journalistically pointing out that Ted Cruz and his entire campaign should probably burn in hell for the sins of Ted Cruz.
And while we remain, as ever, on Team Fuck All These Guys, we don’t entirely disagree.