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How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?

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Exactly how many stupid, stupid people do we have in Congress these days, toiling away in the world’s most deliberative lawmaking body, making decisions that will probably imperil the very survival of the human race? And of these stupid, stupid people, how many are willing to talk to reporters and make good and sure that there is a RECORD of their stupidity for posterity? Turns out, quite a few!


Republican lawmakers say this year's harsh weather that has produced devastating wildfires and the most widespread drought in 50 years has not changed their minds on climate change.

With more than a month left, the summer of 2012 is on pace to be one of the three hottest since 1950, according to an analysis by WeatherBank and AccuWeather. In June, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced the preceding 12 months in the continental U.S. had been the warmest since record keeping began. Many Republicans on Capitol Hill point out that weather is inherently cyclical.

"I think the science suggests you have to have long-term trends, not one-year droughts,” said Rep. Tim Huelskamp (R-Kan.), noting his district saw worse conditions in the 1950s and 1980s and “variability in the drought is not unusual."

Don’t ever say that the GOP is anti-science because Representative Tim Huelskamp (R-Koch), used the word science in a sentence, so there! Anyway, why worry about any of this when it's up to God?

In a floor speech last Monday, Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.) said, "Look at the patterns. It gets cold, it gets warmer, it gets colder, gets warmer. God is still up there, and I think it'll continue in the future."

See that? It’s because of God, who is still "up there," causing all these droughts and wildfires and whatnot.

While polls indicate that most people believe that the Earth is warming as a result of human activity, Republicans say they are not being pressed on the matter back home.

“I’ve heard a lot about the drought,” said Rep. Tim Griffin (R-Ark.), “but I have not heard one thing connecting this to climate change."

To be fair, it’s hard to hear information connecting droughts to climate change when you have no interest in listening, or alternatively, when Bernie Sanders is the one talking about it, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE. It’s probably fine though! Turns out that the earth will probably only warm by about six, maybe eleven degrees within the next 50 years, that’s all, causing a “mass extinction of almost all life and probably reduce humanity to a few struggling groups of embattled survivors clinging to life near the poles.” No biggie. But then we'll see who is right, and who is dead, and then all get together over the smoldering ruins of our civilization, look back at this, and laugh!

[The Hill]

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OK everyone, hello! It was a really shitty week with Trump's BABY JAILS and whatnot, right? And we cried and we cried, but then we got MAD. Are you MAD BRO? Because this shit is not going to stand and we are more fired up than ever to make things better, to register people to vote, to pick them up in our car so they can go vote, and also all the other stuff too. BRB TAKING OUR COUNTRY BACK NOW. That is how we are right now! So are you! Start by marching with Wonkette next week!

Also, please look above, as that is a picture of Wonkette toddler getting SWIMMING LESSONS. Isn't that the greatest?

OK, we are continuing our tradition of making the top ten post even shorter than ever before, because gotta get on the road and go to Nashville BRB GOING TO NASHVILLE NOW.

Stories chosen by Beyoncé, as per usual:

1. Why Are You Peeing On Yourself, Donald Trump, Jr.? (ALLEGEDLY)

2. Ann Coulter's America Will Die if Baby Jails Go Away, So That's Something!

3. Yes, Trump Is Stealing Children. But You Can DO Something.

4. Baby Jails? Goddamn Motherfucking BABY JAILS?

5. Trump's 500 Days Of Bummer

6. The 987,386 Most Fucked Up Lies Our Shithead President Told This Morning

7. Happy Father's Day, Roger Stone! YOU ARE THE COLLUSION!

8. Michael Cohen Slams Baby Jails On His Way To Grownup Jail

9. Awwwww Rudy Giuliani, YOU FUCKING SCARED?

10. Trump Foundation Fuckery? WHO KNEW!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

Let's see ... anything else? Nope, BYE.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

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The great journalists at the National Enquirer regularly sent advance digital copies of stories about Donald Trump and his political opponents to Michael Cohen, according to a story in the Washington Post, which cited "three people with knowledge of the matter" as sources. Probably Trump was one of them, you know how he is.

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