How Much Will President Cry Baby F**k Up Joe Biden’s Inauguration?
The 2009 inauguration of our last real president, Barack Obama, was a big fucking deal, to quote our next real president. An estimated 1.8 million people showed up to watch Obama take the oath of office. We have just as much, if not arguably more, to celebrate when Joe Biden officially replaces that thing squatting in the Oval Office, but we'll need to do it on the down low. There's a still a pandemic out there, and COVID-19's not showing any signs of slowing down. It's no sleep and no large crowds until a vaccine.
From The Daily Beast:
"Inaugurals always require intricate planning. This one will be a really delicate dance to have that element of accessibility without risk," said Steve Kerrigan, who served as the CEO of the 2013 Presidential Inaugural Committee (PIC). "I cannot see a President-elect Biden, like Trump, putting narcissism or ego ahead of the safety of people."
Biden is a responsible mammal so will likely ask people to stay home and watch the inauguration on their favorite streaming device. (Besides, it'll be cold. If Biden truly loves Black people, he'll reschedule for June.) However, it's almost certain that outgoing, non-recyclable trash Donald Trump will attempt overt sabotage on Biden's big day. He is a petty piece of shit, after all.
The Daily Beast
"What do you do if our people don't show up and his do?" asked one official involved in inaugural preparations. "They probably will and the last thing you want is a MAGA rally on the Mall when Joe Biden is sworn in as president…. I think [Trump] would want to make it as much of a shitshow as possible."
It's not hard to imagine Trump cultists organizing an anti-Biden, pro-Trump protest on Inauguration Day. They would get off on appearing to embarrass President Biden. This becomes more dangerous if Biden supporters still attend in relatively large numbers. Conflict could prove inevitable and violent.
America has always been partisan, but there was usually a brief détente for the inauguration. It was part of the peaceful transfer of power that demonstrated America was a functioning democracy and not one of the many institutions Trump has bankrupted. Sure, I was a petty motherfucker in 2001 and refused to watch George W. Bush's inauguration, but I didn't crash his party and stir shit up. No, my friends Erin, Debbie, and I watched Audrey Hepburn movies all day and ordered pizza.
As of now, virtually no one believes that planners won't end up scaling back. One major fundraiser who has attended—and donated to—multiple Democratic inaugurations suggested that there "won't be grace-and-favor seats in prominent places behind the president-elect" this go around, with the crowded dais instead filled with socially distant Cabinet officials and family members only. Another Democratic fundraiser predicted that the Biden team would push for a "save and celebrate" plan, in which you "save lives and do a mostly virtual event."
Trump supporters should also consider staying home. For once, they should listen to their better angels if they haven't already symbolically burned them in fire.
A lot depends on President Lame Duck's actions on Inauguration Day, which we can assume will be bad. It's inconceivable that he'll behave graciously and perform the same torch-passing duties as every other president, including his Kenyan predecessor. He might actually hold a counter rally, even in DC. He's a horrible person.
However, Trump's former personal lawyer, fixer, and current felon, Michael Cohen told MSNBC's Ari Melber that he'll likely just stay home and pout.
COHEN: After Christmas, he usually comes back January 5th, January 6th. He likes to go to Mar-A-Lago. I suspect he doesn't even come back to Washington. I don't believe he's going to go to the inauguration because he himself fundamentally cannot sit in a chair knowing that the cameras are on him and that the world is looking at him as a loser. He cannot do that.
Yeah, he's right. Trump is a loser.
COHEN: He does not have enough inner strength in him to be gracious. He needs to keep his base rallied around him. He's going to say for the next 30 years that they stole the election from me. I'm the rightful president. He's going to keep his MAGA army active and engaged and going to constantly blow this dog whistle and be a menace.
Let's just hope that for one goddamn day, Trump can avoid egging on his base. We can at least pretend that almost half the country isn't irrevocably damaged.
That probably won't happen but at least Trump will end the day still a crap human being but no longer a crap president.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).