You probably are aware Kanye West is at least pretending to run for president. Maybe Donald Trump is putting him up to it, because he thinks Black voters are stupid and will vote for Kanye because they're so stupid they'll just vote for a Black person instead of voting for Joe Biden. Maybe Kanye is having a mental breakdown. Maybe it is both.

We don't want to dwell on that shit, because TBH, we think he probably is having a severe mental breakdown, and you know, thoughts 'n' prayers. Hope he gets the help he needs.

Trump does think Black voters are pretty fucking stupid, though.

Also Kanye does the rap-hop! Trump is probably pretty sure Black people like the rap-hop! They will probably all vote for Kanye.

Republican operatives in several states are FEVERISHLY working to get Kanye on the ballot. It all has an "oh shit fuck damn hurry!" kind of quality to it, because COVID-19 has severely limited the ability of Russia and other GOP chaos agents to support third party candidates to take votes from Biden, like they did to Hillary Clinton. It's just ... kinda late to get a viable ratfucker campaign going, you know? By this time in 2016, we feel like we were on a first name basis with calling Jill Stein a fucking assclown. This year, we couldn't even begin to tell you who the fuck, and neither can most anybody else.


So, these Republican operatives. NBC News reports they're FEVERISHLY doing this (with FEVERS) in "at least four states." The New York Times says "at least half a dozen." There's Missouri, Arkansas, and Illinois, plus Wisconsin, where the jackass has almost gotten himself on the ballot. (He's already there in Oklahoma.)

They're doing this with somebody who is probably mentally ill, because they are desperate to help Donald Trump cheat his way back into the White House, and because they think Black voters are really very stupid.

In Wisconsin, a GOP operative asshole and election lawyer named Lane Ruhland got caught hand-delivering the signatures Kanye needed to get on the ballot. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that pretty much all the rest of the people trying to get Kanye on the ballot in Wisconsin are GOP operatives/donors. Alesha Guenther, spokesdick for the Wisconsin GOP, doesn't seem to care how obvious they're all being:

"It appears that the Kanye West campaign made a smart decision by hiring an experienced election attorney," adding the party looks forward to "delivering Wisconsin's 10 electoral votes to President Trump."

Oh fuck off. We will note, though, that the Trump campaign's internal polling on Wisconsin, where they absolutely must win, must be BADFUCKINGBAD.

From Missouri and Arkansas:

Republican operative Gregg Keller was listed on West's paperwork in Arkansas as a point-of-contact. Keller previously worked for prominent GOP groups like the American Conservatives Union and has worked for a slew of Republican politicians.

One of West's designated Missouri electors, Jane Drummond, is a member of the Republican National Lawyers Association.

Neat. We bet these people seriously think they are in disguise when they put their fingers on their upper lips like mustaches. Is that Lane and Gregg? We couldn't even tell! (By the way, the Times notes that old Gregg was looked at to be Trump's campaign manager in 2015. Really.)

Illinois:

One of the canvassers collecting signatures for West said that Mark Jacoby, an executive at the petitioning firm Let the Voters Decide, had been recruiting people to canvas for West in Illinois. Jacoby was arrested in 2008 and later pleaded guilty to charges of voter fraud, after dozens of California voters said they were tricked into registering to vote as Republicans.

Found it! Found the voter fraud! It was there the whole time!

You get the idea. There doesn't appear to be any actual support for Kanye. Just Republican ratfuckers, ratfucking. Because they think Black voters are just very stupid.

To really get a sense of how stupid Republicans think Black voters are, read the email Vice got its hands on from a GOP dickwad in Colorado named Rachel George, who used to be GOP Senator Cory Gardner's comms director. This very week, she emailed another GOP strategist in Colorado to ask for "the most random favor." LOL! Did she need them to feed her pet wombat who eats a lot while she goes to some kind of Klan social? NO! But we see how you might think that.

Have some email:

"I hope that you are doing well! I have the most random favor to ask of you ever...

SO random.

would you help me get Kanye West on the ballot in Colorado? No, I am not joking, and I realize this is hilarious.

HA HA! It is funny because Republicans think Black voters are really stupid.

The campaign contacted me last night asking me to help them find 9 registered voters to sign Kanye's Presidential Electors' Acceptance of Nomination form. It is due tomorrow, so I'm under a bit of a time crunch and trying to start by asking people who I know understand this stuff a bit.

As I'm sure you are well aware, the form would be public record. So a reporter could request it and call you asking why you signed. But you would just ignore that call and let me know, and the campaign would handle it.

The first rule of Very Sneaky GOP Ratfuckers Who Think Black People Are Very Stupid Club is you don't talk about Very Sneaky GOP Ratfuckers Who Think Black People Are Very Stupid Club!

Otherwise, your only obligation would be if Kanye wins Colorado then you would have to cast your electoral college vote for him.

Thank you for considering this, I get how random it is!

Raaaaaandom!

But I also know that you're in on the joke, so let me know what you think and if you'd be willing to sign the form.

The joke is that Black voters are very stupid and Republicans hold them in more contempt than you ever could imagine.

Isn't that just a very funny joke?

These people are all going to hell when they die.

But until then, they just really really really really fucking hate Black people, and think they are very stupid.

[NBC News / Vice]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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