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How Will Media Totally Avoid Useful News Coverage of May Day Protests?

News

Hooray, tomorrow is Kleptocracy Sucks Day! This, of course, is every day, but tomorrow Occupy Wall Street and labor unions are organizing actions all across the country for May Day to call attention to the crushing economic injustice forcing millions of unemployed, underemployed or over-employed "part-time" workers with multiple underpaid jobs to turn on their teevees and their YouTubes at night and get a lecture from Mitt Romney on how much their jealousy of his wealth offends him while President Hope runs off to drone bomb another crowd of women and children attending a funeral in Pakistan, for freedom. The best advice here is to actually go to one of these events if you want to know what is happening, since the odds are good that Wednesday's newspapers are going to be plastered with pictures of kittens instead of actual news reports on the protests. How will America's corporate news outlets manage coverage this time?


For some idea, we can perhaps look at the instance from last fall where instead of a picture of New York City councilmember Ydanis Rodriguez being brutalized by the NYPD, a news editor instead chose to run a photo of that same councilmember having a friendly conversation with cops, since that is more newsworthy! This latter editorial decision, made by bland irrelevant periodical Time Magazine, is now the subject of a lawsuit being brought by several NYC city council members who discovered the decision to run the less inflammatory photo was made at the city's request, hahahaha. And Time allegedly listened!

From Gothamist:

Attorney Leo Glickman, who represented Councilmember [Ydanis] Rodriguez after the arrest, tells us, "That night [of Rodriguez's arrest] we saw on Time magazine's website photographs of the story, with Ydanis being held down by police in riot gear. We sent the link around, and then noticed that within hours it was changed. A source at Time Magazine told us that someone called from the city asking them to change it because it was inflammatory. It was replaced by a very innocuous photo of Ydanis speaking to a police officer about something completely unrelated. This lawsuit will set out to prove that the city pressured Time magazine to remove the photo."

This is what you will see on the news, tomorrow. Kittens and reassuring images of elected officials speaking cordially with their cops -- all is well in America!

But banks know better! The panicky overlords have been trying to figure out how to handle this national expression of disgust since January according to this Bloomberg News report, which they will accomplish by "working with one another and police to gather intelligence" on protesters and has been helpfully framed as, uh, a war on the new terrorists, America's evil struggling workers:

Spokesmen for Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan, Bank of America, Citigroup Inc. (C), Morgan Stanley (MS), UBS AG (UBSN) and Credit Suisse Group AG (CSGN) wouldn’t describe security measures for the protests. One likened commenting to telling al-Qaeda about the bank’s continuity plans.

Should be fun! Don't forget to send us your pictures, stories, etc. [Gothamist/Bloomberg]

Beautiful May Day poster by Hugh D'Andrade. Visit him on Flickr!

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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[Washington Post]

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