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This weekend, while the government was getting shut down because of Donald Trump being an idiot who is bad at the Art Of The Deal, the New York Times reported Trump spent his Saturday watching old videos of himself saying zingers about Barack Obama during the 2013 shutdown. It was the most pathetic thing we have heard about Trump in at least three weeks.

Coincidentally, about three weeks ago the world joined together to read Michael Wolff's Fire And Fury, about how Trump is a delusional idiot whose brain is probably going. (And also maybe he is having an affair! With Hope Hicks! Or Nikki Haley? Anyway, BREAKING NEWS THAT IS BREAKING, President Pussgrab might be getting his dick wet outside the bonds of his Christian marriage.)

Now we have a whole new book to talk about, by Fox News idiot Howie Kurtz. Normally, that would make us close tab, but it seems Kurtz's book, Media Madness: Donald Trump, the Press, and the War over the Truth, says Trump is a big idiot too! In fact, according to excerpts published by the Washington Post, it specifically alleges he is a big idiot who has a childlike need to do the opposite of what all smart people are telling him would be the smart thing to do, because apparently he likes touching hot stoves just to see how bad it hurts.

Pick yourself up off the floor, this is new information!

For instance, back in the summer, former chief of staff Reince Priebus was carrying his Hello Kitty lunchbox to the Oval Office for a meeting about what to do about transgender people in the military. They were going to look at four options, based on a policy review done by the White House! But then all of a sudden Trump tweeted "NO TRANSGENDER," and Priebus was like "oh fuck, meeting canceled, I guess."

This is what Trump's aides reportedly call this "disorder," which is different from the president's alleged brain disorder, which he proved doesn't even exist by correctly identifying a "camel":

Kurtz, who worked at The Post from 1981 to 2010, writes that Trump’s aides even privately coined a term for Trump’s behavior — “Defiance Disorder.” The phrase refers to Trump’s seeming compulsion to do whatever it is his advisers are most strongly urging against, leaving his team to handle the fallout.

Impressive and presidential!

But wait, if it's true Trump is running around the West Wing in his diaper telling everybody he sees that they're not his real dad (his real dad is a dead white supremacist), then why hasn't he told Stephen Miller to fuck off on immigration? OH IDEA, maybe everybody is reading Michael Wolff's thing about Trump having an affair wrong by assuming it is a young lady. What if it is a young unfuckable dead-eyed prematurely balding racist shithole SECRET BOYFRIEND named Stephen Miller? Could be!

Anyway, Howie Kurtz, as we noted, is a Fox News idiot, so it sounds like his book is a bit nicer to the Trump White House than the Wolff book. That being said, Trump still comes off like an incompetent fool. WaPo expresses that sentiment more nicely than Wonkette just did:

While Kurtz at times seems to offer a more flattering portrayal of the West Wing staff than some other media accounts, he also captures a White House struggling to perform basic tasks and advisers reacting to the whims of a hard-to-control president.

TRANSLATION: None of 'em can find their ass with both hands, especially the leader of the free world, who is the most ill-behaved child to babysit in the history of babysitting.

Kellyanne Conway apparently has a line she uses with Trump when he's being naughty:

When, on his first full day as president, Trump wanted to send Sean Spicer, then the White House press secretary, out to attack the media for correctly reporting the crowd size, Conway initially tried to talk him out of it.

“She invoked a line that she often employed when Trump was exercised over some slight,” Kurtz writes. “ ‘You’re really big,’ she said. ‘That’s really small.’ ”

Awwwwww, it's sweet that she lies to him and tells him he's big.

Anyway, we doubt this book will make as much noise as the Wolff book, because Howie Kurtz sucks. (Michael Wolff sucks, too, we're not saying he doesn't. He just sucks in a slightly more credible way, and he wasn't trying to preserve his White House access the way a Fox News idiot obviously would.)

WONKETTE BOOK RATING FOR BOOK WE HAVE NOT READ: Not Many Stars, Howie Kurtz, Do Better.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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